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Steven  K.
Steven K., Family Law Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 2338
Experience:  I have practiced family law since 1996, focusing on child custody and domestic violence
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I recently filed for divorce via a TRO because my daughter

Customer Question

I recently filed for divorce via a TRO because my daughter and I are victims of domestic violence, which has been documented by me and my attorney. My husband has been ordered by the court to take a 16-week domestic violence course (don't know if he has started) and I have have been ordered to get therapy at $140/session for 6 months for being a victim of domestic violence. I was awarded full legal and physical custody of my daughter, because my husband has perpetrated ongoing DV against both of us and is an alcoholic as well (can be proven). The problem is that he is now going after me for spousal support and reimbursement of court costs, which is outrageous in my eyes, given that he does not work and has not really worked in over 10 years and is not disabled in any way. He supports himself doing odd jobs but he says that he won't work because is is 62 (was 52 10 years ago), although we are not wealthy and we are draining our savings because of him. He is a person of a lot of skills, like having a doctorate degree in engineering, having founded a start-up company with venture capital, getting a real estate license which he never used, being in upper management in a high-tech company for 20 years, doing professional photography, videography and graphic design, to name a few things, yet he refuses to get a real job and has me working 7 days a week to support this household so that he can goof off and spend time with his mistress, who supports him because he has no income. Before the TRO, I paid about 90% of the expenses around her but now I am paying 100% and he does not even send my daughter any spending money. I am really strapped for cash as this case has been a financial and resource drain for me and has really cost me income as I am self-employed and I only have so much bandwidth to do my own job with the divorce going on. To be honest, I am even overextended financially at this time and really have nowhere to go for financial support, so why should I have to support a deadbeat and abuser who could easily find a job if he wanted to? I also feel that my husband should pay child support and not make excuses for not doing so.
So, I found this online: The Court ruled that Family Code Section 4325 "embodies a legislative determination that victims of domestic violence not be required to finance their own abuse."
I also found this: Family Code § 4320(i) provides that the court shall consider the following circumstances: “Documented evidence of any history of domestic violence, as defined in [Fam. Code §6211], between the parties or perpetrated by either party against either party’s child, including, but not limited to, consideration of emotional distress resulting from domestic violence perpetrated against the supported party by the supporting party, and consideration of any history of violence against the supporting party by the supported party.” The Family Code also has provisions creating a presumption that a spousal support award should not be made in favor of a person convicted of a crime of domestic violence.
Finally, I found this: Family Code § 4320(i) provides that the court shall consider the following circumstances: “Documented evidence of any history of domestic violence, as defined in [Fam. Code §6211], between the parties or perpetrated by either party against either party’s child, including, but not limited to, consideration of emotional distress resulting from domestic violence perpetrated against the supported party by the supporting party, and consideration of any history of violence against the supporting party by the supported party.” The Family Code also has provisions creating a presumption that a spousal support award should not be made in favor of a person convicted of a crime of domestic violence.
Your thoughts and advice? I will forward this to my attorney.
Submitted: 4 months ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Steven K. replied 4 months ago.

Given his history of domestic violence, his ability to whenand the fact that the child lives with you allst less likely that he could get spousal support. But it's not impossible and you should definitely seek child support.

Expert:  Steven K. replied 4 months ago.

Has he been criminally charged with domestic violence?

Customer: replied 4 months ago.

"his ability to whenand" ??

I guess I had expected a more thorough answer, given that I went into a lot of detail on this question.

I do not know if he was criminally charged. He violated two TRO's the day that he was served but the police never arrested, much the dismay of my lawyer.

However, my lawyer did say that my husband would go on record for being a domestic violence abuser. That is all I know.

Expert:  Steven K. replied 4 months ago.

That should have said, "ability to work." Unfortunately, I can't give a more definitive answer because the law is rarely definitive. You'll notice in the statutes, it talks about a presumption that support should not be ordered. Nowhere is there a prohibition. So while most judges would not grant support in such a case, it really depends on the judge and the totality of the circumstances.

Expert:  Steven K. replied 4 months ago.

Honestly, I think his extensive work history is just as strong an argument against spousal support as. domestic violence