I am sorry to hear that you are having this issue with your ex. Basically, a person can only be held in contempt if they knowingly and willfully violate a court order- so the court order must clearly state what is prohibited conduct; so for example if the order stated something like:
Mother shall obtain father's written permission before withdrawing child from ABC school; if father refuses to provide such permission, mother must petition the court for permission 30 days before the anticipated withdrawal".
In that case, if the mother withdrew the child and enrolled the child in a new school without requesting permission or obtaining the court's permission, that would be contempt.
When both parties have joint custody, normally there is a provision stating that both parents will make decisions re: the child's medical, educational and religious choices; if it states that and one parent arbitrarily makes a decision, then that can lead to contempt of court.
Normally for contempt of court the penalties include fines, the award of attorney fees, and even jail time. - the main thing is a knowing and willful violation.
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Information provided is for educational purposes only. Consultation with a personal attorney is always recommended so your particular facts may be considered. Thank you and take care.