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It is a difficult proposition. The courts already favor the mothers and especially the biological mother here so I'm not sure what grounds you would be able to stay in the child's life unless she agreed
I understand what you're saying. I actually practicied family law for a few years so I am fairly familiar with what judges do in the situation. You are right that the judges are primarily concerned with the best interest of the child however they will not award paternity right to a nonparent withoit the bio mother's consent.
I think there's no harm in asking the judge for some sort of visitation but I am trying to give you input from my experience