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The state law for the state that issued your court order on child support governs here. So, if the court order regarding child support issued in WY, then you only have to pay child support according to that court order unless she went to court in VA in got the WY order modified. You should have received notice of that court date if something like that happened. Also, even if you fell behind on child support, you should still be able to have contact with your son as the two things are not dependent on each other.
So, if she checked your son into school after he turned 18 and did not modify the order first, she is doing so at her own risk.
Since there is no court order stating that you have to pay support till May 2017, the VA division of child support is going to have a hard time enforcing what is stated in its letter. So, just be sure to get paid up on your arrears and if they try to come after you for support past the age of 18, you can use the WY court order to defend yourself.
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