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As to the doctor, the only way he would be in any trouble is if he chose a medication that wasn't appropriate for some reason and your facts don't indicate that occurred.
As to the nurse, there is nothing obvious in the facts, other than her telling her husband not to tell you of the medication change. I haven't seen a specific code of ethics that this would violate although I would think that the judge in the family court would look upon this with disapproval.
It is my understanding, based on experience in a prior case, that a child taking one inhaler at one parent's home and a different inhaler at the other parent's home doesn't cause any ill effects to the child and I am basing my above answers on that premise. However, if this is incorrect and you have a medical expert who will testify that this is not a correct treatment or that using two different forms of inhaler will cause some type of harm then the nurse would definitely be in violation of the standard of care and the father would be acting in a way that was not in the child's best interest.
As to the family court, I absolutely believe they acted inappropriately and a judge, as I said, could disapprove. Many court orders, particularly when a child has a problem like asthma, have a provision in them stating that medical information or doctor's visits has to be shared with the other parent within a certain period of time. If your orders contain this provision then a Motion for Contempt against the father is justified.