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Samuel II
Samuel II, Attorney at Law
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 27009
Experience:  General practice of law with emphasis in family law.
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My husband and I reside in NC. We married on December 31,

Customer Question

My husband and I reside in NC. We married on December 31, 2015 and three months into the marriage he had an affair with his ex girlfriend in February 2016 (less than 60 days in the marriage). He promised it would never happen again. Unfortuantely it did, just with different women. I found a hidden cell phone he used to solicit sex and secretarial assistance from other women. It's clear that he married me for financial gain. I'm stuck with his credit cards debt because I I open them in my name because his credit is bad. He used these credit cards to assist in building resources in his mobile detailing business. I have provided my personal time, money and resources, so he has all the monetary advantages of this support. I thought he married me for love but its clear he had other motives. I'm now in the process of filing for separation. My husband would like to stay married but have separate residences and deal with other women. I'm not going to agree to that because then he will be entitle to my pension and all of my military, federal employment and social security benefits. My question are:
What are my options?
Am I able to receive spousal support?
Can I get compensated for the credit card bills he stuck me with?
Am I entitle to any of his funds from the business?
Submitted: 4 months ago.
Category: Family Law
Customer: replied 4 months ago.
is there any law in NC in which i'm cover based on my husband married under false pretenses, purely for financial gains. I do not want to walk away from this being stuck with his debt.
Expert:  Samuel II replied 4 months ago.

Hello

This is Samuel. I will discuss this and provide you information in this regard. Please note, I do NOT participate in phone calls offered by this website and we will continue here. Thanks for your patience while I type the information you will need. Then if you have more questions in that regard, you can follow up.

Customer: replied 4 months ago.
Okay, are you familiar with NC laws?
Expert:  Samuel II replied 4 months ago.

Yes. Do you want me to continue or opt out and maybe there is a NC Attorney available. However, please note, non of the attorneys on this site can represent customers of this site. We can only provide information.

Customer: replied 4 months ago.
If you are familiar with the NC law it's okay. I just want to know my options before I speak with an attorney.
Expert:  Samuel II replied 4 months ago.

First you will need to live separate and apart for one year, as NC is a no fault divorce state. That means, you two come to an agreement about the separation handling issues such as your marital debt, spousal support etc. The only grounds for divorce would be marital misconduct and of course the infidelity would be included if he has continued since you first forgave him.

I am not finished and will continue here but want to let you know I am working on this information.

Expert:  Samuel II replied 4 months ago.

You can consider a mediator to help with the agreement.

Now, I know it is the debt you are concerned about - and if you can show that even though the cards are in your name - that they were used only for his gain (taking other women out, etc) and you did not benefit in any way, it is possible to come to terms and an agreement that you will forego spousal support if he agrees to take over the debt, must be paid in full and those accounts closed.

Customer: replied 4 months ago.
the cards were used for his business but i would not be surprised if he used them for other means
He used the BP gas card for fuel and other expenses like vehicle repairs and etc
Expert:  Samuel II replied 4 months ago.

And here is where you need to weigh your options. Spousal support in NC is based on the criteria in NC statute at this LINK

(b) Amount and Duration. - The court shall exercise its discretion in determining the amount, duration, and manner of payment of alimony. The duration of the award may be for a specified or for an indefinite term. In determining the amount, duration, and manner of payment of alimony, the court shall consider all relevant factors, including:

(1) The marital misconduct of either of the spouses. Nothing herein shall prevent a court from considering incidents of post date-of-separation marital misconduct as corroborating evidence supporting other evidence that marital misconduct occurred during the marriage and prior to date of separation;

(2) The relative earnings and earning capacities of the spouses;

(3) The ages and the physical, mental, and emotional conditions of the spouses;

(4) The amount and sources of earned and unearned income of both spouses, including, but not limited to, earnings, dividends, and benefits such as medical, retirement, insurance, social security, or others;

(5) The duration of the marriage;

(6) The contribution by one spouse to the education, training, or increased earning power of the other spouse;

(7) The extent to which the earning power, expenses, or financial obligations of a spouse will be affected by reason of serving as the custodian of a minor child;

(8) The standard of living of the spouses established during the marriage;

(9) The relative education of the spouses and the time necessary to acquire sufficient education or training to enable the spouse seeking alimony to find employment to meet his or her reasonable economic needs;

(10) The relative assets and liabilities of the spouses and the relative debt service requirements of the spouses, including legal obligations of support;

(11) The property brought to the marriage by either spouse;

(12) The contribution of a spouse as homemaker;

(13) The relative needs of the spouses;

(14) The federal, State, and local tax ramifications of the alimony award;

(15) Any other factor relating to the economic circumstances of the parties that the court finds to be just and proper.

(16) The fact that income received by either party was previously considered by the court in determining the value of a marital or divisible asset in an equitable distribution of the parties' marital or divisible property.

Expert:  Samuel II replied 4 months ago.

Yes, on the credit cards and you can get copies of the invoices and go through them and show how you did not benefit - even if they were used for his business unless he was bringing home money from the business to help take care of the family expenses.

Customer: replied 4 months ago.
No, he did not pay any bills except for water and lights, if that. I paid all the bills in the home. He took the monies earned from the business and used it for his personal pleasures. Trips to CA, weekend getaways and other leisure activities without me.
Expert:  Samuel II replied 4 months ago.

Good. Then if you decide to go to mediation for a separation agreement, you point that out. I suggest, the deal can be he must pay the debts in full and those accounts must be closed in your name. Or he provides you the money to pay them in full and you close them -

Expert:  Samuel II replied 4 months ago.

A separation agreement will be binding during the separation period and it can be a legally binding contract after the divorce.

Expert:  Samuel II replied 4 months ago.

I suggest you can get a list of bona fide mediators in your area from the clerk of the court in your area. You can at least consult with one and then weigh your options on mediation v an attorney.

Customer: replied 4 months ago.
Ok. My husband is complicated and I'm not sure if they will put the time in to entertain such a fool.
Expert:  Samuel II replied 4 months ago.

Well, then maybe you need to consult with a local attorney and they can help negotiate the separation agreement. The agreement is only for your protection. It is not necessary to file for the divorce at the end of the one year separation. But it protects you from any future debts he might incur etc - and vice a versa.

Expert:  Samuel II replied 4 months ago.

The separation agreement will have a clause that will remove both of you of responsibility from any future actions of the other spouse.

Customer: replied 4 months ago.
i know but i was trying to get a general idea of where i stand and options
Customer: replied 4 months ago.
i understand all of that but here are my questions.
Expert:  Samuel II replied 4 months ago.

Ok. Fire away...

Customer: replied 4 months ago.
am i able to get an annullment with the same options?
Customer: replied 4 months ago.
I'm sure he is not going to admit to the cheating but he is currently staying with the girl now in which he was having an affair. am i able to use this evidence.
Expert:  Samuel II replied 4 months ago.

Here is the NC Statute in that regard.

§ 51-3. Want of capacity; void and voidable marriages.

All marriages between any two persons nearer of kin than first cousins, or between double first cousins, or between a male person under 16 years of age and any female, or between a female person under 16 years of age and any male, or between persons either of whom has a husband or wife living at the time of such marriage, or between persons either of whom is at the time physically impotent, or between persons either of whom is at the time incapable of contracting from want of will or understanding, shall be void. No marriage followed by cohabitation and the birth of issue shall be declared void after the death of either of the parties for any of the causes stated in this section except for bigamy. No marriage by persons either of whom may be under 16 years of age, and otherwise competent to marry, shall be declared void when the girl shall be pregnant, or when a child shall have been born to the parties unless such child at the time of the action to annul shall be dead. A marriage contracted under a representation and belief that the female partner to the marriage is pregnant, followed by the separation of the parties within 45 days of the marriage which separation has been continuous for a period of one year, shall be voidable unless a child shall have been born to the parties within 10 lunar months of the date of separation.

Expert:  Samuel II replied 4 months ago.

When it talks about being "Voidable" that is an annulment. An annulment does indeed void a marriage as if it never happened. And NC is very strict on the criteria necessary to have a marriage voided/annulled.

Customer: replied 4 months ago.
ok
Expert:  Samuel II replied 4 months ago.

And so only the criteria listed in the NC Statute above will be considered by a court for an annulment.

Expert:  Samuel II replied 4 months ago.

So unfortunately, your options are limited in that regard. The best recourse is the Separation Agreement, one year separation and file for divorce.

Expert:  Samuel II replied 4 months ago.

it is a lot to digest. So take your time and review all the information. Then if you have other questions, please let me know here. Thanks

Expert:  Samuel II replied 4 months ago.

Please let me know here if you have other questions or need clarification. Otherwise a Positive rating ensures I get credit for my time.

Customer: replied 4 months ago.
You didn't answer all of my questions. Thanks anyway
Expert:  Samuel II replied 4 months ago.

Thank you. And please tell me what information I left out. That is why we have this dialogue. So if I miss something, you can have me provide that information or any clarification for you. I await your reply as to what other information you need. Thank you

Expert:  Samuel II replied 4 months ago.

This is what you asked in your original post

My question are:
What are my options?
Am I able to receive spousal support?
Can I get compensated for the credit card bills he stuck me with?
Am I entitle to any of his funds from the business?

AND I am pretty sure I covered them all. But if not, please tell me what I missed. Thank you.