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Are you asking about why he has to pay back child support -- called arrears -- even though he bought all of the other baby items?
I will try to best answer your question. Based upon the fax events you have described I agree with you. I do think that the place to start would've been the paternity test through DNA because if the child is not your sons there is no need to establish a visitation schedule or a support order. Typically the courts will required DNA testing and enter a temporary order for visitation and support. Under the temporary order they do not, and should not, include arrears. Often times if your son was named on the birth certificate or if an acknowledgment of paternity was executed at the time of birth the courts that are likely to enter this temporary order until a DNA test can confirm the paternity definitively. Absent your son's name on the birth certificate and or an acknowledgment of paternity I would suggest that you not pursue visitation rights until paternity is established first.
I hope that this information is helpful and I wish you the best of luck trying to resolve the situation.
Considering that your son has been providing for this child prior to any support obligation I have no idea why his attorney would agree to Child support arrears. This in essence would be making him pay twice. In addition, when I say acknowledgment of paternity I'm referring to an actual document with that title that specifically states the party is acknowledging that the child is his.
I am unsure as to why his attorney took the actions that you have stated. It Does not make sense to me based off of the facts.
If it was not a final order you can file a petition for special relief asking to adjust arrears.
Under those circumstance do not raise the issue of the arrears. You do not want to give Mother any motivation to contact the police out of anger. Do not rock the boat.
The more time that passes the less likely the police will be willing to prosecute. Time is your friend in this situation. Keep the big picture in mind, no criminal charge, and don't push them in to the hands of the police fighting over the arrears. I have seen it happen to many times where one raises an issue without considering other problems that exist between the parties.