Hi and welcome to JA. Ray here to help you today.
You can seek half the lost funds in a divorce settlement--her marital share.If she caused the breach thats an equity argument to make to the divorce judge here and a valid one.
If these aren't her bio kids she has no legal responsibility to them.I know this hurt them but the law here is that they aren't her kids unless she adopted them.
Missouri has limited “no fault” divorce, making it unnecessary to prove cruelty, adultery, etc, to obtain a dissolution. The usual ground is irreconcilable differences with your spouse.
Marital” property is all property acquired by either spouse during the marriage. Missouri law assumes that all property is marital unless a spouse can prove that something is non-marital. This rule applies to both real and personal property.
For the most part, it doesn't matter whether title is in one spouse's name or both; the law assumes that an asset belongs equally to both spouses if it was acquired after the date the couple married.
Missouri is an equitable distribution state. Equitable division means that a court will split the property between spouses in an equitable (fair) way. The division does not have to be equal to be fair.Again the lost money here might be an equity argument that you be repaid say your share of lost funds.The divorce judge has the final say on that.
I appreciate the chance to help you , I know this is extremely hard on you.I hope you and your family are able to move forward, the counseling here is a great idea.