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NYFamilyLawyer, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 562
Experience:  Owner, attorney in private practice, licensed for 36 years as a trial and appellate attorney
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I have two sons (14 & 16). They goes to dad's on the 3rd

Customer Question

I have two sons (14 & 16). They goes to dad's on the 3rd Friday of the month and come back home on sunday (that was the agreement how it file). Which they went to dad's house yesterday ..... today I got a phone call from Ryan (16).... he got really mad of his dad .... and asked me to pick him up. Yes I did picked him up. Can Ryan file a paper not to go to his dad's anymore.....
Thank you! Irene
Submitted: 3 months ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  NYFamilyLawyer replied 3 months ago.

Hello. I’m a family lawyer and appellate attorney with 36 years’ experience.

Please note:This is general information for educational purposes and is not legal advice. No specific course of action is proposed herein, and no attorney-client relationship or privilege is formed by speaking to an attorney on this site.

At the end of this discussion I'm going to ask you to please rate me as that's the only way I get credit for my time here today. Are you okay with rating me? Thanks!

I'm sorry this is happening. It's really difficult when teens don't want to go to visit. I represent children in my state and I know you can't make a teen go where the teen doesn't want to go.

As a custodial parent, you're supposed to foster a relationship between your children and your ex, no matter how difficult you might find it. Despite the reasons behind your break-up, experts agree that in the vast majority of circumstances, it is very important that children maintain good relationships with both parents, and that the parents work together to achieve that goal.

As a practical matter, you can be in trouble if you don't comply with the court's order on visitation. Your ex can ask the judge to hold you in contempt of court if you are intentionally not complying with the visitation order by not sending your child for visitation. The bot***** *****ne is that you are the parent, and you are responsible for your child's actions. Thus, it is you who will be responsible, and who may have to answer to the court, if your child doesn't visit as ordered.

Teenagers, present a real problem. You cannot physically force a 16 year old boy to visit with his father if he doesn't want to. Threatening your teen with punishment or restricting his freedom is not likely to get what you want in this circumstance, either.

Because the custodial parent typically cannot make a teenager visit as ordered, then the court is unlikely to find the parent in contempt of court for failing to comply with the visitation order. Unfortunately, this leaves the non-custodial parent of a rebellious teenager largely without a remedy for enforcing his visitation order.

However, at this time, with one bad visit, the court will not permit the change in visitation. The court will want you to have your son try again and maybe next time he and his dad can talk things over so that this doesn't happen again. It is typical for teens to act out, especially when parents were split up.

Legally, you will have to wait to modify the parenting plan/visitation if this continues. If your son doesn't go again and again, be prepared for your ex to take you to court, and you don't want that. Discuss with your son that he should talk to his father on the phone, Skype or whatever, and work things out before the next visit.

If after a few visits your son still doesn't want to go, then you can file a modification petition for change of visitation/parenting plan. In the meantime, I'd suggest to see what you can do to talk your son into talking to his father and explain that he was mad and let the two guys talk it out. A modification petition/motion can happen if these visits are still an issue after another month or two.

Does this help you and answer your question?

Expert:  NYFamilyLawyer replied 3 months ago.

In the meantime, you can let me know if you need names of attorneys in your area. I do this as a free service for people who may need an attorney and don't know how to find one. All I need is the biggest city/town in your area and I can find attorneys for you for future court purposes. Can I help you with that today?

Do you have any follow-up questions for me? I want to make sure I help you with all your issues because it's not fun when your teenager is upset and doesn't want to go to his dad's. I know what that's like.

Expert:  NYFamilyLawyer replied 3 months ago.

Please let me know if you need any more information, such as where to find an attorney in your area, or anything else related to this question. Id' rather be rated positively and if I didn't answer all of your questions, I'd like to have a chance to make sure that I do. Thanks in advance for rating me. If you need more information, let me know as I’m happy to give it.

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Expert:  NYFamilyLawyer replied 3 months ago.

Hi, just checking in to see if you still need help with your question and if my answer was helpful for you or if there is any more information that you need. Thanks!


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