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RayAnswers, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 40160
Experience:  30 years as a family law lawyer .
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My daughters father lives 50 miles away. We both own homes

Customer Question

My daughters father lives 50 miles away. We both own homes in different cities. He has never lived with out daughter. He took me to court for visitation when our daughter was a year and half, this was after he left when i was pregnant and in and out of her life until we went to court. I knew that day when we left court and the custody plan was decided that it would not be enough. He continues to prob me for more time, when our daughter is still adjusting to the current plan. She comes home from his weekends with her clingy, aggressive, challenging to get to eat, and sleep. Her behavior is always out of whack when she gets home. I"m concerned he is going to take me back to court for more custody. She is in preschool two days a week, has swim lessons weekly and current gymnastics one day a week. Could he get more custody? He currently sees her every Wednesday from 130-530 and every other weekend.
Submitted: 11 months ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  RayAnswers replied 11 months ago.

Hi and welcome to JA. Ray here to help you today.

It is unlikely here, small child, he lives always away here , daughter has established routine.Unless he relocates much closer to you I don't see this.He is a long distant parent.He could try but realistically until she is int he 10-12 year old range or he relocates I don't see this changing. And I am sure you are frustrated at having to have her return and have to get her readjusted.Again until she is older or he commits to relocating closer I cannot see a judge modifying what you have now as it is not in the best interests of the child.

I appreciate the chance to help you and wish you the best here with all.

Expert:  RayAnswers replied 11 months ago.

And he would have to complete co parenting/counseling if these were ordered.

Expert:  RayAnswers replied 11 months ago.

If he tries to modify here in California he has to show the following.

  • He has to show that there has been a “change in circumstances” since the final custody order was made. This means that there has been a significant change that requires a new custody and visitation arrangement for the best interest of the children.
  • The reason there has to be a significant change is that it is best for children to have stable and consistent custody arrangements with their parents. Final custody orders should only be changed if it would be best for the children.

I don't see these here, child is young, he lives 50 miles away, hasn't completed any parenting. counseling, etc.

Customer: replied 11 months ago.
My current boyfriend is an engineer in the Silicon Valley. Things are getting serious, he and i have discussed moving together and possibly out of state. Would you recommend filing for a new custody plan if he and I decide to move out of state?
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Her father is very pushy, he tries to almost accuse me of not taking care of our daughter appropriately for example: doing her hair everyday, he is rude to me which i know the courts don't care about, but i'm concerned about her behavior as well when she comes home. She hits me and when she role plays she hits which i'm wondering if someone hits her
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
any advice
Expert:  RayAnswers replied 11 months ago.

Yes you will need to redo the custody/visitation --who pays for travel is the big issue there.Start early here and have some idea on who pays for travel, it is likely you on out of state, that can be a big expense if you are talking more than once a month here.