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Thank you for your question. Please permit me to assist you with your concerns.
When exactly were you married? When did you sign the marriage license and file it with the state?
If you were married in 2002, then the claim that you were only married for 3 years is simply bunk--what governs isn't how long you physically reside together but when the documentation was filed. While he might argue that you were 'separated', if you retain sexual congress you are deemed to be together even if you do not actively reside with one another.
As far as FL 160, you can file it now or later--you can file it at ANY time prior to dissolution as those are a listing of your property assets. Please do not worry, you do not have to file it right away.
My apologies but I do not know what property you have and when you obtained it. So without knowing more I cannot simply provide you with an answer. In addition as I am not your attorney I cannot fill this out for you, but I can help explain which type of property goes into which section--you can then evaluate what you have and make the requisite choices. Would that help?
You can simply file a basic FL 160 filing now without actual values for items. If you and your spouse do not have an agreement in place, you can refile this form in greater detail once the petition is already in place. To help you I am enclosing a link to an explanation that is put in place by California Courts for this specific form: