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NYFamilyLawyer, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 577
Experience:  Owner, attorney in private practice, licensed for 36 years as a trial and appellate attorney
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Just a preface: I have no legal restraints outside of the

Customer Question

Just a preface: I have no legal restraints outside of the Texas standard possession order.
Nothing that says I have to call when I leave the county. I have a 10 year track record of no problems and never have refused a possession unless I had to work (in order to unfailingly pay support)
The mother of my child tries to control my summer possession by getting a day care situation that either says it's the price for three months or that if the child is gone so many days that the child is out of the "summer camp". I want to take my 12 year-old to where my side of the family lives on a vacation during my possession (no legal preventative for me doing so, and it is my right to do so). She will threaten to keep him and will do so. I know I could take her to court, but I do not have the time --and by the time that happens, the vacation is ruined, and the cost is high: no guarantee a judge will make her pay for my legal expense. I also think that my son does perfectly well alone in the house with a telephone when I am at work for the remainder of my month. He's old enough and smart enough. I have the legal right to make that determination. She also says I have to pay for summer camp while I'm paying support for that month that I have him. Without an expensive letter from a lawyer, which she may ignore anyway, what way can I prevent this? I have joint conservatorship, secondary possession. Talking/reasoning to her just produces bullying from her. She is a borderline personality.
She kept him last year with a texted agreement to let me have him during a different summer month-period. I lost a $750 airline ticket and did not see my son for 3 months while I was working away. No lawyer that I talked to would defend that without an "off the scale" retainer and most just said "no" for text-based evidence. Is there something I can do to guarantee my just rights?
Submitted: 4 months ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  NYFamilyLawyer replied 4 months ago.

Hello. I’m a licensed attorney with 36 years’ experience. My practice is limited to family law and appeals, but I have many years’ experience with landlord-tenant issues, contract law, and other types of law. I also have written hundreds of legal articles. I look forward to helping you today.

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Expert:  NYFamilyLawyer replied 4 months ago.

I'm sorry to hear about this. There's no doubt you have a difficult situation. Dealing with a BPD person is not easy. I can suggest a few things but most of these have already been stated here as not working.

For example, you can threaten to take her back to court and state that she is violating the standard possession order. Let her know if you take her back to court, her time is going to be restricted because she's been taking the child during your time with him.

You can take her to court with or without an attorney to try to enforce the standard possession order for the summer. That may be worth it to see your son. You can try to do this yourself so that you don't have legal fees to pay. Dealing with her has proved to be impossible so it's likely that the only thing that will scare her into listening is going to court, and you may be able to get different terms in the possession order. That's really the best thing you can do. I know you said you don't have the time to go back to court but there are limited options here.

Expert:  NYFamilyLawyer replied 4 months ago.

If you are close with your son, you can talk to your son, although it's not a good idea to get the child involved in this situation. He shouldn't be put in the position of having to talk some sense into the mother, and a GAL wouldn't like to hear that he was involved. Still, if he wants to be with you, that may be all he needs to say to the mother, so you may want to talk to him to see what he wants.

Do you think she really doesn't know what the possession order says or that she's just toying with you as much as possible to be difficult? Sometimes people know more than we think they do and she may be playing games. If she's doing that, she should be made to account for that.

So those are your options really. Yes, they're limited, if you don't want to talk to her or don't want to bring her to court. If you consider bringing her to court without an attorney and do a petition to enforce the possession order, it will be cheaper. If she doesn't show up, you can possibly get a judgment based on her default.

Expert:  NYFamilyLawyer replied 4 months ago.

It's ridiculous that she's being allowed to get away with this, so I don't blame you for being upset. Losing that much on an airline ticket is unfair to you.

Does she have family members or friends you can talk to? Sometimes involving the other family or friends may help. Anything that can be done to put some kind of pressure on her to obey the court order and not restrict his activities during the summer should be considered.

Expert:  NYFamilyLawyer replied 4 months ago.

Yes, I agree that many 12 year olds, who are mature enough, can take care of themselves for a few hours while you're away at work or be with your other relatives too.

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