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Dimitry K., Esq.
Dimitry K., Esq., Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 41220
Experience:  I provide family and divorce law advice to my clients in my firm.
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A year and a half ago, my wife left me because I had said to

Customer Question

Hello, A year and a half ago, my wife left me because I had said to her that our marriage was over and unless she would seek therapy or counseling which I said I would be happy to join her I am leaving.
She never attempted to fix herself or the marriage. Then on February 9th 2014, while on our marriage anniversary vacation, I had enough of her negativity and her insults. I went back to the hotel room and packed my bags and left her there. I called her from my cell phone shortly after while on my way back to Los Angeles and I said to her that I had enough, its over and when she gets back from the balance of the trip, we should discuss a plan to separate and what and how to tell the children.
When she came back, I could see in her eyes that she was ready for war, and that is exactly what she did. She went to war with me.
She started by saying lets make this as peaceful as possible and mediate to also be discrete and save money from not hiring attorneys. We I learned that that is exactly what she did all the while saying to me everyday, we are just going to mediate, right? and I would say yes, when are we going to get started? She would say whenever you are ready. I would say now, and she would have an excuse why she couldn't do it now.
Three months later, I find divorce papers in my mail box. They were never even personally served to me. I almost missed the first hearing and only had one week to research and find an attorney and fill a request for an extension due to improper service.
Her lying to me, saying we were going to mediate all the while planning her attack to catch me off guard resulted in me making a bad choice in legal representation. The following year and a half I never saw a judge yet our attorneys managed to negotiate on our behalf and my attorney making decisions on my behalf only hurt me instead of helped me. They negotiated alimony and child support on the disomaster based on a phony or incorrect tax return my wife put together. When I finally figured out what happened, I provided them with the correct tax return stamped by the IRS. It fell on deaf ears and no one did anything about it until I had enough of no results and I said I am not doing anything until I recieve an accurate and fair response to this situation. They finally agreed to a lessor amount but in my opinion still too much and has completely drained me of my savings along with the money I had put aside for my older son's college tuition. I live paycheck to paycheck and I am self employed and work off commissions in real estate sales. After my expenses, some of which were her expenses that I have to pay, I have nothing left to survive. I am falling behind in my payments on everything.Our deal was I would work my ass off to provide a better life, and she would stay at home and play on facebook all day, stick the bill payments in the mail and then pick up the kids from after school program around 5 or 6pm.
She never paid the bills and was pocketing the money. On top of that she had been forging my signature on my checks almost cleaning out one entire account. She then started trying to get me out of my house. The house I bought 5 years before I ever met her. She said she was going to call the police and say to them that I was hitting her and being verbally abusing and threatening her if I didnt leave. So I left to not have the kids see this or actually start believing this made up accusation. I was staying at hotels here and there and she had people following me taking pictures everywhere I went and conjuring up stories like, I was having affairs at these hotels. Why else would he be there..
she has threatened me personally and trying to take everything away from me. My children, every piece of real estate I have, my friendships, business and personal which she has done a good job at making up completely fabricated stories which would scare anyone away and have hurt me tremendously, emotionally and financially. One friend who didnt buy into her lies, said to me that my wife told her wife, that with real estate values on the rise, they were to devise plans to stall the divorce so she could get more out of the settlement while at the same time construe plans to keep my focus off of work and away from the advice of my attorney by making my life difficult and financially costly. This plan would drain me of my finances and the ability to fight a good fight, giving her the advantage she needs. She promised to repay people with pieces of my estate holdings I own if they can conspire a way to get it all from me. Money is a great motivator and there is no shortage of people that are taking her up on this opportunity.I have been harassed and followed by numerous people, threatened by her family members,one of her siblings had said to me that they are going to spit on my face when Im lying dead on the ground.The list goes on.What to do? I have no money left and my attorney has submitted a request for removal of representation.
Submitted: 4 months ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  NYFamilyLawyer replied 4 months ago.

Hello. I’m a licensed attorney with 36 years’ experience. My practice is limited to family law and appeals, but I have many years’ experience with landlord-tenant issues, contract law, and other types of law. I also have written hundreds of legal articles. I look forward to helping you today.

Please note:This is general information and is not legal advice. No specific course of action is proposed herein, and no attorney-client relationship or privilege is formed by speaking to an attorney on this site.

At the end of this discussion I'm going to ask you to please rate me as that's the only way I get credit for my time here today. Are you okay with rating me at the end of our discussion? Thanks!

Please also understand I am typing my answer to your question – usually a detailed answer – and I’ll be back to you asap.

Expert:  NYFamilyLawyer replied 4 months ago.

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. The best thing that can happen to you right now is that you lose this attorney! It's better for you to get another attorney to redo what your attorney has apparently messed up.

Your new attorney may be able to start over with settlement negotiations or make motions to modify whatever the other attorney did so that you can have enough to live on. Courts won't let people like you live in poverty to pay support so the court will be mindful of the fact that you're living on the poverty line and the court will do what it can to make sure that doesn't happen. Your new attorney has to be able to undo as much of the damage as possible.

Also, the new attorney will recommend things, such as going to the DA to complain against her for forgery, which is a crime.

Expert:  NYFamilyLawyer replied 4 months ago.

The new attorney needs to make a motion for all sorts of things, such as getting her to stop harassing you so you may need a restraining order against her because her behavior is out of control. The motion would also try to set the record straight about phony reporting about finances, tell the court about her threats and fabricated stories, tell the court about how she's trying to set you up for adultery which is not the case, and how she's harassing you and stalking you. A new attorney can bring this all to the court's attention, which the first attorney failed to do. I'm so sorry you had terrible legal representation. You deserve better representation than what you had, and a new attorney will have to undo all that was done incorrectly in the first place.

Expert:  NYFamilyLawyer replied 4 months ago.

Hello. I'm glad you are here. Customer service will try to work with you because it is listed as payment failure and the call will not be allowed through until that is taken care of. I'll be happy to talk about this with you but we have to wait for customer service to resolve the issue of payment with you.

Customer: replied 4 months ago.
i am not surprised. My bank flags my card almost every day due to the multiple fraud cases I have going right now. I have close to ten incidents in the last year alone. Two or three are from my wife and probably involved or somehow affiliated with most of the ten cases. I will have to call the bank now and tell them that this is a good charge. I noticed it is for the same amount as the initial charge so they probably think this company is attempting a double charge.
Expert:  NYFamilyLawyer replied 4 months ago.

Right, I can understand that. Okay, thank you. I will stay here so that can be straightened out.

Expert:  NYFamilyLawyer replied 4 months ago.

This is saying internal server error, so I contacted customer support. I think the phone request has to be made again.

Expert:  NYFamilyLawyer replied 4 months ago.


I'm leaving the ability to be rated here, which I would really appreciate.

It's still saying payment failure for the phone call.

Expert:  NYFamilyLawyer replied 4 months ago.

Does this answer your question? If you need more information, let me know as I’m happy to give it.

I hope this helps and clarifies. If you could, I'd appreciate it if you can rate me when finished. Kindly rate me positively so that I can get credit. It is no additional charge to you.

Please accept my answer, rate my answer as one of the top three faces/stars and then submit, as this is how I get credit for my time with you and with your question. I work hard to give you a thorough and honest answer. I thank you in advance for rating me. Please let me know if there is more that I can do to answer your question and if you need more information. If not, I thank you for your rating. I can’t get credit for answering your question without your fair and honest rating. Thank you and best of luck to you!

Please let me know if you need any more information, such as where to find an attorney in your area, or anything else related to this question. Id' rather be rated positively and if I didn't answer all of your questions, I'd like to have a chance to make sure that I do. Thanks in advance for rating me.

Expert:  NYFamilyLawyer replied 4 months ago.

Hi, just checking in to see if you still need help with your question and if my answer was helpful for you. Thanks and thank you for allowing me to help you.


Customer: replied 4 months ago.
Hi Ms DeLoe,Im sorry I havent responded sooner. As you may know or figured out from part of my story told originally which started this dialogue, I have been and still am going through a lot of stressful situations daily that take up most of my time and the last on my list of things to do or deal with are the lesser important things to do. That is not to say that this conversation or your advise is not important, I just have emergencies at hand that need immediate attention and severity is president over other important issues that I will get to after the ones at hand are delt with. Keeping myself out of jail based on false charges and out of the morgue and in a safe environment is first priority then stopping my ex wife and or whomever is involved in the fraud and forgery issues is next because any longer I will not have any money left to pay for anything at all. Furthermore, I do not see your response anywhere? Do you want to call me?(###) ###-#### ***** gave you my number imitially but you never called upon my request.
Expert:  NYFamilyLawyer replied 4 months ago.

Hi it's good to hear from you. We cannot call you directly unless the call goes through Just Answer. If you are able to remove your phone number from here you should do that because this is a public message board.

The status I have here is "payment failure." I can't call unless that is approved, and those are the rules for this site. I'm not ignoring you either but I have to follow the rules here. If the card goes through, I can call you.

So you can tell me what you'd like to do. I haven't been here today, took the day off to do other stuff, but if you would like to call just let me know.


Expert:  NYFamilyLawyer replied 4 months ago.

I stopped typing to you when the call request came through -- when we know there's going to be a phone call, we stop typing and wait for the call to happen. It didn't happen, and then the room was closed for awhile. I couldn't get back in. I guess the moderator shut it down while the money issues were being sorted out. It's not that I've been avoiding either -- I just waited for a phone call, it didn't happen becuase it says "payment failure" and then the moderator closed this room temporarily. So you can let me know what you'd like to do from here.

Expert:  NYFamilyLawyer replied 4 months ago.

I thought I'd ask you what you would like to do. I'm happy to answer you here if you don't want to do a phone call. I can make myself available in a little while if you'd like. I'll leave that up to you. Thanks!

Expert:  NYFamilyLawyer replied 4 months ago.

Hello S.,

I have been in transit and am now back in NY so I've been away from my computer all day and wasn't here yesterday. I got on here tonight to see if you're here. I'd like to know more about your situation. I'm presuming you are still out of the house, have some place to live and have a job. I don't know what you do but are you working full-time?

Your first attorney got everything wrong if you don't have enough money to live on. You can try to see if Legal Aid will take your case. There are many good Legal Aid attorneys in every state. Are you in Cal? You mention LA so I just want to see if you're in Cal.

Legal Aid can make a motion for modification, to reopen up the case, and also to explain that you had ineffective assistance of counsel the first time around. If the court believes it, then you may have a chance to modify your agreement and to explain the situation that you explained here. You are living in a way which is not intended by the courts in any state, and you must be able to have a disposable income. The things she did are outrageous and need to be brought before the judge. If you are having money issues, you might consider Legal Aid to continue your case for you. This includes the house, as Cal is a community property state, so this is something that must be discussed, unless something happened to the house already? You don't say what is happening with the house, so I'd need to know that so I can help. The house was your separate property. If she added value to the house during the marriage, she can have an interest in the house but not necessarily a half-interest. The house would go to you as your separate property unless you've already made separate arrangements for it, such as she stays there with the children for a certain amount of time.

I do agree with what I said previously -- let this lawyer drop off the case. You're better off without him. See if you can get Legal Aid to continue where he left off but Legal Aid has to undo the damage that the first attorney did.
If you give me some of this information, I can help you in more detail.

It's mind-boggling that she got away with a lot of the stuff that she did. Your Legal Aid attorney needs to bring this up to the court, and that's the ineffective assistance of counsel. The court will not want to see you in poverty as long as you are working full-time and at your full potential.

Please let me know what else I can help you with. I can explain more about the house, if you haven't already provided for what will happen to it, and other details about your particular case. California case? And what kind of job and are you working full-time?

Thank you. Hope to hear from you soon.

Expert:  Dimitry K., Esq. replied 4 months ago.


A different professional here. It appears that your prior professional opted out. Do you still require assistance at this time? Please advise.

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