I am single mother
of 2 children a 17 yr old daughter and 24 yr old son with cerebral palsy and cognitive delay. I am 53 yrs old and have cared for them both their whole lives without any help. They are both great!
But my mother is nascissitic. I lived with a younger man the past 3 years. a year ago she found out he was living with us. He never hurt us. My mother never talked to him.
When she found out about younger man, she TOLD ME over a year ago, Wait until I come back and take you kids!! She took me to court and won guardianship
over my son, he was taken from me and put in a group home.
He has been there 9 weeks, I only get to see him one hour a week, and call him 2 times a week. I cannot take him anywhere.
He is SOOOO saddddd. . He is so innocent and doesnt' understand. For past 10 days he has been crying and calls me.
ever week when I see him, he is unshaven, usually skin greasy, fingernails long, and his teeth are AWEFUL they told me they help him brush . . I finally did it, the toothbrush was bone dry
last friday I saw hinm and OMG this is NOT MY LIL BOY
he was ALWAYs very strong and could get himself n and out of his wheelchair . . in and out of the toilet and walk in shower. On this day, he looked thinner than he used to and very weak. He could not transfer himself at all. He litterally couldn't talk. . He was stuttering JUST terrible, He NEVER stuttered. . jyust for him to say OK. . . he said. . o, o, o, o, o, o k It was heart breaking. His arm was red from him biting himself. I had him sit on my lap. . HE NEver DOES THAT. . . He put his head on my shoulder and didn't want to get off. . .He reached up and put his hand around my throat 3 times.. HE HAS NEVER DONE this. i whispered and asked him is someone did that to him. .he said YES
He gets Migraines, lotta times from stress. He was sitting on my lap and told me he had to puke. I hollared for a pail. and woman working at the home AND my son case worker. . Said what's the matter????? THey saw NOTHING wrong. I told him he may hav3e a sore throat. . he never talks the way he did. .that was Friday, it is now Monday, he has called me multiple times crying and studdering, and YET has NOT EVEN gotten an asprin, or tylonal and pretty sure he won't get to doc today or any medical relief. I would NEVER let my kids be sick without helping them!!!! and OMG sad sad sad!! But there is more , , ,he told my daughter that case worker has been mean to him. BUt that I cannot prove.
I took him in the bathroom, He could not get on the toilet by himself. I have not had to lift him in 9 years. He sat on toilet bare butt. . didn't go. . . for 30 minutes. I tried to get him off and he put death grip on hand rails.
we got him in his room. My daughter and a friend of hers was with me. Me and daughters friend were in sons room with him, Son's back is to the door, my daughter walked in and came a foot behind his wheelchair, My son Whipped around and looked, BUT I HAVE NEVER SEEN A LOOK OF FEAR ON HIM LIKE THAT. My DAUGHTERS FRIEND kniows him well and she saw it too and said SOMETHINGS VERY WRONG!!!
i AM afraid to say anythging because after about a week of my son calling me daily crying and just sad sad sad, asking me to come get him, I received a call from the case working. . Telling me they have concerns abpout allowing my phone calls to continue because the house workers told her that every time he gets off the PHONE with ME. . He is very upset. I got angry, I told her the girls need to pay attention to what he is like when they are dialing the phone, because he called ME crying like 11 days now. Yes, love to tell him Im gonna bring him home, but I don't, I'm afraid if i shake ANYTHING, I'll loose my son vistations. I just try to calm him down.
So i been recording our conversations and was told I cannot do that.
My mother has not talked to me or my children in over a year, no holiday, no presents, nothing. They didn't do anything, actually i didn't either. She has always been overbearing controlling person who will make ALL her kids do what SHE want at ANY COST, CUZ SHE WILL WIN, NO MATTER WHAT.
bUT AT WHAT COST, I'm miserable, he is miserable, and not being groomed very well, loosing muscle, weight, no care when sick, and NONE of them even KNOW. if my mother was around him, she would havw no clue there was a problem either, she doesn't know him well enough.
The house I have I bought for my son 23 years ago because I knew he had to have a wheelchair. Yes I used his income to help pay bills, my house is now being foreclosed
I don't know which way to turn. please help me