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Phillips Esq.
Phillips Esq., Attorney-at-Law
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 17447
Experience:  B.A.; M.B.A.; J.D.
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I filed order to cancel/suspend child support years old son

Customer Question

I filed order to cancel/suspend child support for 19 years old son who refuses to go to college, to work, to go to counselling, and to respond to reasonable parental demands. Child is obese, overweight by 300+, no hair cut for 3 years +, etc...
Submitted: 6 months ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  socrateaser replied 6 months ago.

Hello,

Do you have a specific question about your circumstances that I can answer for you?

It's difficult to simply start writing about terminating child support, without writing 10,000 words, and I don't want to cover territory that you already know.

Thanks in advance.

Customer: replied 6 months ago.
Please note that this is a case which is scheduled for June 6 in Brooklyn Family Court. Please find enclosed a copy of the petition. I filed this petition because of the following reasons:1. I am paying about $800.00 a month as child support for my son who is now 18 1/2 years old. In addition, I have been spending an average of $150 a month in terms of allowance and cell phone spending for him. After he graduated from high school last year. he promised he would take a year off before going to college. He has since then renounced to this plan as he refused to go to school and to work. He is spending his days sleeping and his nights online. His mother is a Registered Nurse of New York who stopped working for no reason. The child support is the only leverage I have to seek change in my son's situation.2. Please advise me on what the law says when the 19-21 years old refuse to comply with REASONABLE PARENTAL DEMANDS OF A CHILD SUPPORT PROVIDER. My demands are completely ignored and I fear that they may be major issues beneath the surface:a. Go to College, Trade School, or Go to work.
b. Adopt a decent appearance. (My son has not have a hair cut for 3 years plus. He avoids all family, religious, and social events) As I wrote in the enclosed petition, "Overall the child appearance calls for concerns as he looks like a BEAST LIVING IN A JUNGLE".
c. Accept to see a counselor, psychologist, etc
d. Accept to enter a weight loss program as he is over 300 pounds overweight while there is DIABETES IN THE FAMILY.3. His mother is a lunatic who is consistently ignoring family concerns regarding this child...4. Last but not least, if I do not deserve to have a reasonable say in the life of this child, WHY SHOULD I BE SUPPORTING HIM? This is why I am asking for help...Thank you.
Expert:  socrateaser replied 6 months ago.

I'll have to reopen this question for others to consider.

Best wishes with your legal difficulties.

Expert:  Samuel II replied 6 months ago.

This is Samuel. I will provide you information in this regard since your prior professional opted out.

NY law does not have exceptions for lazy children who are not in school or working or doing anything to better themselves, unfortunately.

​Child support can only be terminated early under NY law for the following reasons:

1 Child is at least 21

2 Child has been adopted

3 A parent was ordered their rights terminated

4 Child has been emancipated and no longer in the care of the parent

5 Child has enlisted in the military

6 Child has gotten married

I wish it was better news for you. However, I suggest you can talk to your local elected state representatives to the NY General Assembly and try to start a movement to have the child support eligible for early termination if the child is out of high school, not in higher education or skill training, not working, etc.

Expert:  Samuel II replied 6 months ago.

Of course, if you are incapacitated and unable to work, and can prove you have become disabled then your decrease in income at no fault of your own may be considered.

Customer: replied 6 months ago.
My ultimate goal is to rescue my son from NONSENSE TO COMMONSENSE. The Child support thing is the only door I have to expose my concerns and worries. I have gone as far as consulting a psychiatrist who, by what I explained, feel that this is a depressed child in a depressed home run by a depressed mom. I was even told of the option to get COMMUNITY POLICE INVOLVED. I am avoiding such an option because I am truly scared of the possible consequences. Is there any BRAVE CREATIVE LAWYER OUT THERE WHO CAN HELP? NOT EVERY SOLUTION SHOULD COME FROM THE BOX!
Customer: replied 6 months ago.
It should be clear now my concern is NOT PAYING CHILD SUPPORT. I LOVE MY CHILD AND SPENDING FOR HIM IS NOT THE ISSUE. HOWEVER, THE CHILD SUPPORT ISSUE IS THE ONLY DOOR I CAN TRY TO OPEN TO EXPOSE THE SITUATION. WHAT IF???
Customer: replied 6 months ago.
Samuel II ? Sorry, I must keep shopping and hoping. Thanks.
Expert:  Samuel II replied 6 months ago.

You're welcome and I , too, will opt out and let another professional assist you. Good luck, Joseph.

Expert:  Phillips Esq. replied 6 months ago.

A different Professional here.

You would need to file a Motion to be heard on your June 6 date requesting that the Court order your son to go for psychiatric evaluation.

Kindly give a positive rating to my response so that I can receive credit for responding to your post. There is no additional cost to you for doing this.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Customer: replied 6 months ago.
Thanks for your response. I checked the help line at NYC family court and I was bluntly told that "THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE BECAUSE AT 19 YEARS OF AGE, THE CHILD IS NOT A MINOR". I am increasingly feeling that THERE IS NO HOPE IN THIS CASE. I strongly feel that my son is depressed, in need of help, and may be a danger to self and others. His mother just does not care or is just acting stupid. Is this the state of our society or so-called civilization: "NO HELP FOR A CONCERNED CHILD SUPPORT PAYING FATHER WHO IS REACHING OUT TO SAVE A DEPRESSED SON WHO HAPPENED TO BE 19". For as much I hate the idea, WHAT IF THIS CHILD WAS TO DO SOMETHING OUTRAGEOUS? WHO WOULD BE HELP RESPONSIBLE?
Expert:  Phillips Esq. replied 6 months ago.

I would still file the Motion and let the Court decide. If you have to pay Child Support up to age 21, you should have a say what goes on with your son.