Here are the dynamics of the situation: I am a father who has a son whom lives 2 hours away. My son is in sports in that area and it has become a situation that the mother
has become accustomed to making plans for him over the summer without consideration of my court ordered weeks available to me. My theory is that she can accommodate my requested weeks or counter offer with suggesting weeks yet she is literally telling me that we will "play it by ear" based on his sports. Before I am attacked by someone who holds the same opinion as my X who has always used "it's all about our son" to get the end result and to have me back off I want to make one thing clear. I have let this go on and the excuse is always a different one that end with "think about our son". Well I am thinking about my son. I am thinking about how I rarely get good quality time with him which has often in the past been due to my passiveness to her quiet refusals. I am now in a time in my life where I regret this and want to get that time no matter what Difficulty it may cause her legally. Worst case scenario is that I get these weeks planned and I discuss with my son and he makes the decision as to what he wants to do. If sports be more important to him then so be it but it is not for the mother to automatically delegate as a suitable replacement for time at my home that has been ordered by a signed custody agreement. One week ago I reached out to the mother of my child with a text message requesting my specific weeks this summer and asked that she let me know by the 15th of April so that I would have time to plan my vacation and set my work schedule appropriately this summer. She told me to make my schedule because she didn't know when our son would be available. After back and forth about this i told her that she is legally bound to abide by the order and if she does not I'll be forced to take legal action. Her reply was go ahead "call my lawyer". My response was that I don't need to address this with her lawyer and that I will go straight to the documentation and the court itself. I have contacted the local court which holds my custody documents and have been referred to send a "motion of contempt" to the family court which is not something I would like to have to do as it will increase tension. It is now the 11th and today I sent another text asking if she has had a chance to reconsider my requests for weeks this summer. If she does not comply I WILL be following through on this because as I've heard so many times as an excuse not to fight for my rights by the opposing party this is what "is in the best interest of my son". Time with a father cannot be replaced and it is not fair for there to be a gatekeeper when it costed me $10,000 to get these specified rights that are supposed to be guaranteed to me.
Now that the history and specifics of the situation have been explained it's time to move forward to the real topic that I have specific questions about. CHILD SUPPORT
FINANCIALS. The harsh fact is that the moment I file this motion of contempt her retaliation has been said by her to be to take me back to court for an increased child support evaluation. I don't mind paying for my child's wellbeing by any means and I even have him covered (not ordered in custody documents) in secondary medical, vision insurance, and dental. Fact is that I am a single male who is reorganizing his life financially with a new career title and location and sadly don't own anything currently. I have student loans outstanding that I have placed in deferment that are about to become active again. The mother of my child has a career where tips are hidden so her income is skewed. She is married to a semi wealthy family. I pay what is ordered, my mother lives in the same town he resides in and she also proactively contributes to his financials with school and sports so in the end, my son does not go without.
Here is my question:
1) if she is able to have the child support altered and subsequently changed to a higher rate what happens if I, a) lose a job (or) b) go to another job that may not pay as well? Am I able to revisit this myself based on occupational changes and have this reduced?
2) I have been working a great deal of overtime to near unhealthy proportions to get life back on track and rebuild credit and redce debt load. Is this a bad idea? Is it a situation where once I start working that much it will stick me to that standard for child support or do the courts look at the guaranteed salary? OT at my facility is solely based on clientele, call outs, and shortages for specific needs so this overtime is not normally as available at such a level as it is right now.
3) I have already been considering a travel position to give me an opportunity to increase my education while getting paid to do so across the US. This is something that will help me to become more stable and during this time also have my son come and explore different facets of our country with me during visitation
. If I take a travel position with per diem monies allotted to my being displaced will this non-taxed money be included in child support figuring? Will housing stipening (travel company housing payment), also non-taxed be considered in child support figuring? This is not deemed income so what I have been told is that it is not considered. What I have been told IS considered is only the taxable income including per hour pay which is what is on the end of the year taxation filing forms. IF SOMEHOW THIS IS A GRAY AREA....what is the best way to ensure there is no way this can be included?
4) Lastly, in regards ***** ***** last question, if she were to request a re-evaluation of child support as a retaliation immediately after I place the motion of contempt against her and say I were to put in notice to begin with a travel position in the fall, would this be considered. How long does such a request take to be completed by courts?
I want to make it very clear that I am not trying to skip out on my parental obligations. I have debt to pay which is why I went back to school to obtain a better career path, so that, in the future I can do more for my child. Now, due to this education I also have student debt that must be paid. A travel position will give me a chance to decrease debt load more quickly and more efficiently while beginning to save and invest in a home when I return. This is a means to an end for a better future that I do not want to be destroyed due to the greed of a woman wanting to take more more more while giving less less less and subsequently making my efforts and desired outcome null. Thank you for your professional input in advanced.