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Law Educator, Esq.
Law Educator, Esq., Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 110363
Experience:  Experienced attorney: Family law, Estate Law, SS Law etc.
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If I know one thing my child's father is going to bring up

Customer Question

If I know one thing my child's father is going to bring up during mediation is the lack of stability in our child care, because I am not supposed to talk about money, how do I address this issue? The reason we have gone through so many providers is because he would not agree to a fair wage and then I was left having to find new care when they would quit after not being paid enough money or not at all by him. I have since then hired someone on my own at a fair rate so I no longer have to worry about the care. I am able to have consistency for our child and further more be able to have someone that I can depend on so I, myself, am not missing work. Even though he has stopped sending his child care payments, I have been able to get the help of family to help me cover these costs for now. How do I properly address this during our court ordered mediation?
Also, a year ago he moved away and just started Skyping again in the last 2 months after I served him to re establish a custody order. She will be 3 coming up, but she has not seen him in person since his move a year ago and I although I don't want to keep her from him, I no longer think it's in the best interest of her to fly to his home and be gone from her environment she is used to at this age given its been so long since she has seen him. I do want to recommend a step up kind of plan in order for them to re establish that relationship. What is a common step up plan for a mediator to adopt for a child of this age? I was thinking Skyping 3 times a week on a set schedule, a minimum of 3 visits in a 6 month period in her home town before any visits are made out of state. And only then if the plan is followed through could we allow a short visit to his home out of state, given I would be guaranteed she would spend time with him and not just extended family. Would this be something a mediator would agree to? And how long is common for a first visit away to be?
Submitted: 6 months ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Law Educator, Esq. replied 6 months ago.
Thank you for your question. I look forward to working with you to provide you the information you are seeking for educational purposes only.
If the fact that you need proper funds to pay to keep good child care, then in that instance you can talk about money. You would have to talk about money in terms of not being able to afford to keep quality child care based on your income alone. In other words, you are not asking the mediator for an increase in support directly, but you are countering his claim that you do not have stable child care by telling the mediator WHY there is no stable child care and that reason is money.
Typically, the courts do not want a 3 year old flying around anywhere and you could likely convince the court based on his abandonment of the child both physical and financial that he should not be entitled to anything more than supervised visitation. The courts generally in this type of case would order supervision or visitation at least in your home area for the first year or two before considering a plan to allow her to travel to his home based on the circumstances you are describing.

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