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Ask Olivia Kent Your Own Question
Olivia Kent
Olivia Kent, Family Law Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 871
Experience:  Partner at Kent Law Group, LLC
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What happens when your spouses ( live together 2 years) son

Customer Question

What happens when your spouses ( live together 2 years) son who visits every other weekend and is 9 molested my 5 year old daughter? We stopped letting him come over for now, installed security cameras, and they are both in counseling now. However neither counsekor was told what happened, just general counseling thus far. We were told by a family member they witnessed his son being molested by his blood older brother in the shower, and told his mom who kept it a secret. My boyfriend got a lawyer and the lawyer told him he can get him joint custody , but doesnt want to bring up what caused his son to molest my daughter. They seem to only want to focus on what he did to her, and even said we ( my daughter & I ) may have to move out for him to get joint custody. This doesnt seem right to me, and I am very worried about cps involvement if I testify. Please give me clarity. I think i need my own lawyer but cant afford one
Submitted: 8 months ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Olivia Kent replied 8 months ago.
Hello. My name is ***** ***** I'm an attorney. I’ll be happy to help you in any way I can. This site is for educational purposes only. Sometimes - although certainly not always - experts have to give you what you deem “bad news” but that should not be a reflection of how satisfied you are with the assistance your expert provided. Experts on this site receive credit for assisting you when you click the rating (the stars) so please submit a rating prior to logging off. You aren't charged anything extra by submitting a rating. I'm sorry - I don't understand your question. Are you asking if you should move out? If you should testify about what you know? If you should hire an attorney?
Customer: replied 8 months ago.
All of the above and if I confide in her therapist what happened if child protective services will become involved? I do not know what to expect. His son will not admit what he did but I know 1000% my daughter is telling the truth
Expert:  Olivia Kent replied 8 months ago.
For the sake of these young kids, someone needs to STOP keeping secrets. Everything you've written says a secret was kept, whether from a family member, a mom or a counselor. These children need help. CPS needs to be notified. And, you need to do what is in the best interests of your child - which is getting her away from the boy and his father who is seeking custody of him. If dad gets joint custody he will be spending MORE time with your family, not less. And cameras will not protect your daughter. She needs counseling - but appropriate counseling - which requires her therapist to know the purpose of the counseling. I'm not sure if your boyfriend - he is not your spouse so spousal privilege will not apply once you get to court - is the father of your 5 year old daughter, but if he is not AND her biological father finds out that you kept her in this environment where she could be hurt, he will go after her for custody and there is virtually NO way he will lose. If you know your daughter is 1000% telling the truth, get her away from that boy.
Customer: replied 8 months ago.
I was just hoping if both the kids got therapy and were not living together during, that we could fix this somehow. I know that his son did what he did due to his environment and own abuse at his mom's. I was hoping it was possible to help them both and was not sure how to view what he did being as he is a victim as well. I made sure nothing would happen to my daughter again via not being in the house together in the mean time. I need to face reality that this is not fixable is what i gather you are saying. So i will move out before he gets joint custody, tell her therapist. What do I do about his lawyer wanting to use my daughter as a reason he " is behaving inappropriately & should not be domicillary living with the mother" while simultaneously not bringing up what happened to him at his moms and influenced me to hope we could help them both? Can i refuse to be involved? I feel like they are using her as a pawn. What will happen after i report this?
Expert:  Olivia Kent replied 8 months ago.
I'm sorry, I need to be as blunt with you as possible. I generally would try to cushion a statement if it was at all possible but there is NO way to cushion this. You cannot get the kids therapy - at least not effective therapy - without actually addressing what the therapy is for. Staying with the boyfriend, in his house, will be crushing for your daughter. It's not protecting her at all. It doesn't matter - AT ALL - why his son did this. The fact is he did. He needs help. He is a victim, yes, but that in NO WAY excuses what he did to your daughter. You are correct when you say you need to "face reality" - you need to be the best parent you can be for YOUR daughter and makes sure she comes out of this having a chance at a happy life. Get her the help she needs and get her out of harm's way. Tell her therapist, and yes, move out. You owe zero obligations to *his* attorney. I advise keeping your daughter away from his attorney. His attorney is interested in helping him, not your daughter.
Expert:  Olivia Kent replied 8 months ago.
He's not behaving inappropriately because he lives with mom. Or dad. Or anyone else. He is behaving inappropriately because HE was a victim and nobody got him help. He needs counseling - and CPS needs to be notified to at least try to get your families so resources.
Customer: replied 8 months ago.
Thank you. I knew this in my gut. It helps to have an outside persepective. My daughter is my world this crushed me knowing this happened to her. Her father abused me physically and sexually. I have no family support, and my boyfriend is a great person and up until this happened we were all happy. I know I am going to struggle adjusting to moving and supporting us on my own. We left everything we owned when I divorced her dad and I owe lots of student loans and I am not finacially secure right now. But I will figure something out i am afraid if i go to child services for help she will be taken away from me. She is very attached to me we are very close. Can his lawyer supeona me to testify?
Expert:  Olivia Kent replied 8 months ago.
If you choose not to notify CPS, at the very least get away from the bf. Yes, his attorney can subpoena you to testify. Once you testify it will all inevitably come out about his son. I hope this helps. Please let me know if you have any other questions or you need me to clarify anything. Please also submit a rating if you're satisfied with your assistance. I know it's not always easy to hear certain news, but I truly hope it helps you and your family.
Customer: replied 8 months ago.
Do I need a lawyer? I got a contact number for local legal aid and am calling tomorrow. My boyfriend promised me he was going to " protect us" and his lawyer was supposed to be our lawyer but something is fishy about the way they are handling things. You are right his lawyer does not have my daughters best interest in mind at all and I have been saying this all week. I take her to therapy tomorrow and will tell her everything.
Expert:  Olivia Kent replied 8 months ago.
Your boyfriend and you have VERY different interests and therefore the attorney is ethically unable to represent you. I think contacting legal aid is a very good idea. Please let me know if you have additional questions. Otherwise, could you please take a moment to submit a rating because that is the only way we receive credit for helping you.
Expert:  Olivia Kent replied 8 months ago.
Hello. I wanted to check in with you to make sure you had all of the information you wanted to obtain when you posted your question. Please let me know if you have any questions or need additional clarification about anything.