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I'm Lucy, and I'd be happy to answer your questions today.
Start by reading the order. Sometimes it'll give a set time frame or state that bills must be submitted within a reasonable time, or promptly, for the parent to get payment. Anything over a year is not reasonable or prompt (I think you could argue that anything over about 90 days isn't reasonable or prompt, if you had to).
If the divorce decree doesn't say, then there unfortunately isn't a time limit. The parents are bound by the court order at least until the child is an adult, and the custodial parent would still have a reasonable time to submit bills accumulated before the order terminated. However, waiting 3 years to submit bills is completely ridiculous. You could try filing a Motion to Modify the order, asking the judge to give the other parent 30 or 60 days to submit or payment is forfeited. Since there's no reason to wait, the judge should grant the request.
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Then you can't refuse to pay without a court order. You can try getting a judgment that you don't have to pay that one because it's late, but regular contract rules give someone 3 years to seek payment, so it's unfortunately not likely.
If the judge modifies the order, then you'll be able to refuse to pay late bills going forward. And that should inspire the other parent to submit them to you on time.