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If anything happens to me, is he in-titled to any of my pension benefits ?
If you are still legally married, then the amount of time you have lived apart wouldn't somehow divorce you due to the passage of time. So if this is an employer sponsored pension plan like a 401k, this is governed under a federal law called ERISA that states that the surviving spouse is the automatic beneficiary of the plan by law unless they actually sign a written waiver and disclaimer of interest in the plan.
So the pension provider is mistaken here because federal law trumps all when it comes to company sponsored pension plans.
If you want to leave the pension to someone else, you need to get a written waiver from the plan administrator and then have your husband sign it and then return it to the plan administrator.