On this website, I do not always get to give good news, and this is one of these times. I understand that hearing things less than optimal is not easy, and I empathize. Thanks in advance for not "shooting the messenger."
There is little that can be done unless one is willing to file for custody. If you were his custodian, you can control him better. Otherwise, the father controls his day to day action. No pleading exists for the court that asks the Judge to order the father to take better care of the child. Either the parent asks for custody (via a modification pleading), or, that is the extent of what one can really do. Just like the father cannot tell you how to parent the daughter while she is in your custody, the same applies vice versa.
Unless you can get him into a voluntary negotiation/mediation where he would agree to some oversight, there is not much else someone in your situation can do aside from filing for custody. Perhaps, threatening to file may have him take better care, as the Court largely considers custody modification based on parent abilities and child's best interest.
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