I'm Lucy, and I'd be happy to answer your questions today.
Yes, you can sue her. There's a legal cause of action called "intentional infliction of emotional distress," which occurs when a person engages in an extreme or outrageous pattern of behavior that serves no legitimate purpose and is done solely to upset the other person. Calling and texting you about her affair with your husband is going to easily fit within that definition. The more calls, the more graphic the texts and the pictures, the more a judge will likely award you.
One of the things a judge will look at in this scenario is whether there is a physical manifestation of the distress you're being caused. This isn't required, but it can be helpful evidence. That could include bills if you've needed to talk to a therapist, or if you're seeing a doctor for anxiety, insomnia, depression, anything like that as a result of her behavior, that can all increase your damages. If you don't have any medical or therapy bills, you can seek up to $3,000 in Small Claims Court.
But if it's more than that, or if you have bills showing that she's caused you physical problems through her behavior, a local attorney may be able to help you sue for more in the Superior Court.
Also, what she's doing falls within the definition of stalking in New Jersey. b.A person is guilty of stalking, a crime of the fourth degree, if he purposefully or knowingly engages in a course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to fear for his safety or the safety of a third person or suffer other emotional distress. (emphasis mine) You could file a police report and ask them to contact her to see if that helps convince her to back off.
If you have any questions or concerns about my response, please reply WITHOUT RATING. It's important that you are 100% satisfied with my courtesy and professionalism. Otherwise, please rate my service positively so I am paid for the time I spend answering questions. If you are on a mobile device, you may need to scroll to the right. There is no charge for follow-up questions. Thank you.