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HelloThis is Samuel and I will discuss this and provide you information in this regard.There is nothing illegal and this is not blackmail. It is a negoiation process. And if he has not been court ordered to pay for your Mom to come to you and assist, then he is under no legal obligation to do so.And unfortunately cable and internet are not necessities and unless he has been court-ordered to keep paying for those he is under no legal obligation to do so. However, when you go to court, you can make a request that he continue to pay for those for you or that the cost be included in your alimony because it is part of the lifestyle that you have become accustomed to living.As to being pushed by him to find employment, a court may agree that you will need to find employment. Alimony/spousal support has a few nuances. And you can read about that here at this LINK in the California Code.