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Lucy, Esq.
Lucy, Esq., Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 27682
Experience:  Attorney with experience in family law.
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My issue is My boyfriend and I have been dating off an on

Customer Question

Customer: My issue is My boyfriend and I have been dating off an on for 2 years due to the mother of his child constantly threatening to take his son and his job away. He is a state trooper of 17 years, recently she broke into our home where he and I started to move things in together. she broke into our home attacked me and I defended myself. she didn't like the way the fight turned out and out of spite she went and put a TRO on him the TRO was dropped. However him and her are currently in a custody battle over their son because she's telling him if he doesn't leave me alone that she will alienate him away from his son. they have a current custody order in place but he would like to file for 50/50 residential custody. she is not willing to give him that if I am still in the picture. she even went as far to ask him to put in the custody agreement that I can never be around with the child alone. Our relationship is suffering because she keeps using the child as a pawn and uses me as an example every time he wants to pick up his son. She's telling him that he is picking me over his son by still being with me. she moved an hour and a half away and for his son he drives every day in order to spend time with him. even that is out of spite... she moved away and works 5 minutes from our home and the baby's daycare is 3 minutes from our home and 3 minutes from her job. everything is out of spite and to make him resentment for defending myself... can someone please give me advice what he and I can do legally to keep her at bay? I am so lost on what to do. is there any stipulations to her behavior or are there any consequences for this.
JA: Thanks. Can you give me any more details about your issue?
Customer: We both have filed charges on her and they still haven't been heard. a lot of our money went into getting the DV case dimissed but.. she just continues to find avenues of being the victim. we have evidence and witnesses on our sides for more or less the charges. but the custody case they have a custody hearing on the 19th of January in the interim you have Christmas new years and the baby's birthday. She is offering outrageous things in order for him to see him. and although the judge order her to have pick ups and drop offs at our local police station out of spite she leaves the baby at the daycare 1 hour and a half away just so that day can take a 4 hour trip to spend less time with him during the day. she says it isn't on paper however as you know a superior court judge can do what they call expart'e. currently parenting time ends for him at 7:30pm 4 days during the week and he's allotted every other weekend.
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Submitted: 11 months ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Lucy, Esq. replied 11 months ago.

Hi,

I'm Lucy, and I'd be happy to answer your questions today. I'm sorry to hear about your situation.

Your boyfriend could use her behavior as grounds for requesting a full change in custody so that he is the primary custodial parent and the mother receives only supervised visitation. Custody is about who is the best person to raise a child. That means the judge is looking at things like whether a parent is fit to instill good moral values in the child - and someone who constantly puts her jealousy of you and hatred of her ex over the needs of her child is not the best person to be raising that child and teaching him what behavior is appropriate.

The judge can order her to return the child to the daycare nearby. He could also order her to move back. He can order her not contact YOU, period, for any reason, ever. He can order her not to contact the father for any reason not directly related to the child. And your boyfriend can make a list of everything she does that violates these orders and take her back from contempt. But it's possible that it would take something like losing her child and being ordered to attend counseling to really realize how wrong her behavior is.

It would help if you had witnesses to all of these things, other than the two of you. Your testimony is helpful, but if you can get any evidence from third parties that will support what you're saying, that can be very helpful in a scenario when you're dealing with a practiced liar.

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