Thank you for using Just Answer. I want to provide you the best service I can. Please feel free to ask any follow up questions you have.
I am an attorney with 30 years of experience; I hope to provide you information that will help you in resolving your question.
I am sorry that there was a delay in responding to you. Your question is VERY complex, because there are so many elements about what is going on. I am certain that you would like to help your husband and save your marriage. BUT that is not something I can help you with, and it takes BOTH of you to want to do that.
What I can tell you is that regardless of whether your marriage can be saed, what you must do right now in this moment is protect your children and yourself so that you hopefully can keep your home, and maintain your assets as best you can.
To do that you must seek out a local family law attorney who can assist you in protecting and separating the property, and if divorce is inevitable, putting you in the best position to care for your children.
In that regard, you should know that New York is an "equitable property distribution" state. This means that unless the parties agree otherwise, a judge will will determine the division of the property (home and other assets). The judge will use the following factors to determine a fair distribution of property: The income and property of each spouse at the date of marriage and the date of the divorce filing. The age and health of each spouse. The domestic requirements of the custodial parent. Whether alimony has been awarded. Likely future financial needs of each spouse.
The above is not all inclusive, but will give you an idea about the factors the court considers.
In addition to property settlement issues are issues of spousal support (alimony) and child support. In regard to sposal support, since you have been a stay at home mom, the court will likely award you some alimony for a period of time so that you can transition into the work place. Since you have young children, that period of time may be longer.
You will also be entitled to child support. The amount is calculated based on income.
You want to take steps as soon as possible to separate your finances. You do not want to be responsible for debts that your husband takes on.
A family law attorney can assist you with that as well.
This link will help you find an attorney in your area:
I hope the information I have provided is useful to you. I want you to be comfortable and satisfied with my attempt to assist you. Please, if you have ANY follow up questions, feel free to ask. Please note that I am generally unavailable Friday evening through Sunday.
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Please note: Information is educational and not given as legal advice. Only your local attorney can give legal advice. I can't establish or accept an attorney-client relationship with you. All posts are available for public viewing.