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Barrister
Barrister, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 35364
Experience:  Attorney with 16 years experience
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My son passed away back in 2009. Since s passing s soon to

Customer Question

My son passed away back in 2009. Since his passing his soon to be ex wife took their child and moved to Oregon where her parents live. I have over the years tried to get in touch with her, either by phone or by mail. I do have the grandparents address and phone number. Over the years I have sent Memphis(my granddaughter) a card for pretty much every occasion, with that I have made copies of each one prior to sending it. Last year (2014) I called the grandmother's home hoping against hope that I might at least talk to Memphis, but the grandmother said that she and her mom moved out of their home and she didn't know where she lived and didn't have an address for her. Yea right!!! She did however tell me what Memphis and her mom are doing these days. I did ask for pictures but was denied that. Neither has a facebook account because according to the grandmother, there are stalkers out there that would harm Memphis.
Back in 2011 or 2012 we did go to court for grandparents rights, but lost because NYS has this 6 month rule. (Find them in 6 months or get nothing). I am heart sick over this. The last time I saw Memphis was at her father's dying bedside almost 7 years ago. As far as I know Kate (Memphis' mom) never applied for SS survivor benefits for Memphis in NYS. We also had benefits to help out the kids and my daughter still has Memphis money in the bank.
Kate had stated that we should email her and we did, but never heard from her. Can you help me understand what my options are and how can I get at least to talk to her and get pictures. I know she won't forget us, but I don't want to take that chance. I am desperate to have a relationship with my sons daughter. I don't think I should be denied this opportunity.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Barrister replied 1 year ago.

Hello and welcome! My name is ***** ***** I will try my level best to help with your situation or get you to someone who can.

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I am very sorry to hear that the mother won't let you have any contact with your granddaughter...

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At this point, your options are limited to filing a visitation action in Oregon where the mother and granddaughter are living if you can locate them. It may require the services of a private investigator if her mother is being closemouthed about their whereabouts, but shouldn't be too difficult because I am sure that she is in contact with her mother regularly.

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Oregon does have statutes for visitation by non-parents. Usually the parents are presumed to have acted in the best interest of the child in refusing visitation, and the person seeking visitation must rebut that presumption. In deciding whether to award visitation or contact rights over the objection of the legal parent, the court may consider factors like whether denying visitation would be detrimental to the child, whether the parent has unreasonably denied visitation, and whether it would interfere with the custodial relationship. But the overriding concern of the courts is whether it would be "in the best interests of the child", which, absent some negative factors, weighs in favor of the child knowing both sides of their family.

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So as stated, your recourse is to locate mother and granddaughter in Oregon and then file a formal visitation action there to seek a visitation order so you can re-establish your relationship. You would need to contact a local family law attorney in the town where the other grandparents are located to assist and they should be able to help with finding the mother as well..

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thanks

Barrister

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