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Lucy, Esq.
Lucy, Esq., Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 27656
Experience:  Attorney with experience in family law.
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In Arkansas Divorce Law may I add a peresons name to the

Customer Question

In Arkansas Divorce Law may I add a peresons name to the decree that states this person's name may never have contact with my daughter foremost and my soon to ex wife. She was taking my daughter around this Man before I found out about the affair. My wife
was purposely not allowing me to see my daughter and was taking my little girl around this Man 4-6 times a week while I waited for my daughter @ home. Sorry I get aggravated.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Lucy, Esq. replied 1 year ago.

Hi,

I'm Lucy, and I'd be happy to answer your questions today. I'm sorry to hear about your situation.

There are a couple of options here. First, anything that you and your wife agree and put in a written settlement agreement will be upheld, but she might not be willing to agree to that. Second, you can request what's called a morality clause, stating that neither parent can have an unrelated overnight guest while the children are in that person's possession. That would prevent her from having her boyfriend sleepover, and that's pretty commonly granted when requested.

If you do not want your daughter to have ANY contact with your daughter, period, then you have to show how he presents a danger to her health and safety and how it is in her best interests to have no relationship with him whatsoever. Things that could help in that regard are if he had a history of drug or alcohol abuse, child abuse, a violent criminal history, or something like that. If you or your daughter have witnessed any behavior that suggests he shouldn't be allowed to be around her, you can testify as to what happened. The judge typically won't enter a full restraining order on a parent's new dating partner without a very good legal reason. The fact that the mother had an affair, in and of itself, isn't enough. But if there are other reasons your daughter is better off without knowing this man, yes, you can make the request.

If you have any questions or concerns about my response, please reply WITHOUT RATING. It's important that you are 100% satisfied with my courtesy and professionalism. Otherwise, please rate my service positively so I am paid for the time I spend answering questions. If you are on a mobile device, you may need to scroll to the right. There is no charge for follow-up questions. Thank you.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
My wife took my Daughter around this man 4 to 6 days a week when I was @ home waiting on my daughter. My daughter was 4 when she told me about a man and then told me his name. My wife was alienating me but worse involving my daughter in her affair and i guess trying to get my daughter use to this Guy. This man got to see my kittens guru more than I did.
Expert:  Lucy, Esq. replied 1 year ago.

That's horribly unfair, and I'm sorry that she did this.

If you're seeking joint custody, then you can explain to the judge why you should be allowed to see your daughter more often. Or you could ask the judge to grant you sole custody on account of her parental alienation (which is one of the best interests factors). But there's no law I can point at that would allow you to have the judge say "This guy can never be around my kids" unless (a) you have sole custody or (b) you can prove he's a danger. The fact that your ex-wife violated your trust and is behaving in a way that is completely unacceptable doesn't mean the other man presents a danger to your daughter. Although your reasoning is completely understandable, it's not a LEGAL reason for making your request. Again, you have to be able to argue something specific to this individual.

As a practical matter, if the judge prohibits overnight visits, your daughter will likely wind up spending less time around this man than if he's allowed to sleep over every night.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
It causes me severe anguish that my daughter was around my wife affair for 2.5 months b4 I found out. So it does harm to me emotionally. And yes could be the case when soon to be ex begins to date. But I do not want her affair that she involved my daughter in to have acces to my daughter. Knowing what I know now infuriates me
Expert:  Lucy, Esq. replied 1 year ago.

I understand how you feel completely.

However, what the judge is interested in is what is in the best interests of the child, not either parent. You have to be able to show how it harms your daughter to spend time around this person. It's not enough that it causes you emotional harm, because then you run the risk that the judge will order you to undergo counseling before you can spend time with your daughter. Again, your wife's behavior here is not a legal reason for a judge to say that her new partner can NEVER be around your daughter. She's allowed to date, and so are you. Just like any new woman you started dating could mean and spend time with your daughter, so can her new boyfriend. The situation is made much more difficult because your wife started dating again before ending the marriage, and I'm sorry for that. But I am trying to explain what you need to say to the judge to get the outcome you want.

You are absolutely free to ask that the judge order your wife not to allow her boyfriend around the children. But if you do, based on the information you've provided, you will probably lose. So what you need to do is read my answers carefully and look for LEGAL reasons, based on something other than the fact that your wife hurt you, that it is not in your daughter's best interests to be around this man. I don't need to know what those reasons are, because I'm not the one you have to convince. You need arguments that will sway a judge. I explained what some of those arguments are a couple of hours ago. That's your starting point.