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ScottyMacEsq
ScottyMacEsq, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 15743
Experience:  Licensed Texas General Practice Attorney
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I'm married fir 21 years and my husband feels he can't

Customer Question

Hello I'm married fir 21 years and my husband feels he can't continue and need a break I want to be safe before it becomes a complete seperation so I can be protected
Whats next
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  ScottyMacEsq replied 1 year ago.

Thank you for using JustAnswer.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Can you explain more about what information you're seeking? That is, what do you mean "what's next"? The reason I ask is that a separation is a separation. It's not a divorce. It's where one party goes one way and the other goes the other. Often it's amicable, but sometimes it's not...

Expert:  ScottyMacEsq replied 1 year ago.

Did you see my follow up question to your issue?

Expert:  ScottyMacEsq replied 1 year ago.

I see that you have not responded in some time. Did you wish to continue with this question?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I did thank you for your response
Now that we are on a wired break we live in 2 different states and he comes to visit the kids
My 15 year old wants to be back to ny with his father. Should I let it happened or it can be harmful in case the seperation becomes permanent
Expert:  ScottyMacEsq replied 1 year ago.

How many children do you have? Would the 15 year old be going to school, etc... in NY?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi I have 3 children 10,11,15 and yes he will be going to the school he was previously, and live in an appartment near by with his dad , we are not formal seperation my husband says his confused
Will that move make it formal somehow?
Expert:  ScottyMacEsq replied 1 year ago.

Thank you for that additional information. How long have you been separated and living in a different area? Has there been any significant period of time that you've been living in a different state with the children?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
In the past 4 months only and it was sopposed to be together more but he still has to travel to work, only 10 days ago he told me he needs a break and now he needs to rethink but my son wants to move back to ny badly
If he goes now we will have time to figure out the next step but by being under 2 households might make things harder for me
Because if he is confused just to buy more time till full seperation this move may effect , I think
Expert:  ScottyMacEsq replied 1 year ago.

Thank you for that additional information. These situations often hit teenagers the hardest, as they've known little else in their lives. Younger kids seem more adaptive to change.

To answer your question, it could impact your claim for primary custody for this oldest child, and slightly impact the custody determination for the other two. You see, a court will almost always sign off on an agreement that the parents agree to. But when custody is contested (meaning that you can't come up with an agreement as to custody / child support / visitation / etc...) then the court is going to make that determination. It will use a number of factors to determine what the "best interests of the child(ren)" is/are. Some of these would be:

  • Physical Health and Safety

A child's physical safety is always a primary concern. This includes ensuring that neither parent poses any risk of physical violence either to the child or to the other parent; judges will take seriously any history of domestic violence. A judge who finds that a parent’s actions pose a risk of substantial harm to the child may order that custody be supervised or suspended. At the same time, unless a parent objecting to custody can prove that the other parent is abusing the child, a court will usually find that it’s in the child’s best interests to have time with each parent.

  • Emotional Needs

Judges consider the general stability of the environment in each parent’s home, as well as the quality of the interaction between the child and each parent, and the extent to which each parent has participated in child care both before and since the separation. Courts also consider sibling relationships and usually try to keep siblings together. If the judge believes that a child is old enough and mature enough to make intelligent choices, then the judge may allow the child to state a preference as to custody. The law does not specify a minimum age, but the older and more emotionally mature a child is, the better the argument that the child should have substantial input into custody arrangements.

  • Co-Parenting and Communication Skills

A court will consider each parent’s ability to communicate and cooperate with the other parent. The key factor here is the ability to co-parent in a peaceful and civilized manner. Willingness to be actively involved in a child’s life is important, but a parent must not interfere with the child’s time with the other parent—a parent who does will be at a distinct disadvantage in any custody dispute.

  • Practical Considerations

Practical considerations include the distance between the parents’ homes, the location of a child’s school, the parents’ employment responsibilities, and the age and number of other children in each home. There is no magic formula for weighing such considerations, and it is not always possible to predict how much weight a judge may give to any particular factor.

A judge will also try to keep siblings together if at all possible. Sometimes this is not possible, in light of the expressed choice (if the choice is from a reasonably mature child) of the children, but that is a consideration. That's why I say it could slightly impact the custody of the other two, in that the judge could consider the choice of the eldest child in determining the custody of the other two.

IF you allow your child to do this, you should have a clear written agreement with your husband that this is meant to be temporary only, for X months, after which the child will be returned to your care and custody. In that situation, you can at least argue that you never intended for your husband to get custody of your oldest child, but rather you were doing this solely for the best interests of your eldest, hoping that it would smooth the transition to living away from his father. That would be the best way to do this without giving up any rights that you might otherwise have.

Hope that clears things up a bit. If you have any other questions, please let me know. If not, and you have not yet, please rate my answer AND press the "submit" button, if applicable. Please note that I don't get any credit for the time and effort that I spent on this answer unless and until you rate it positively (3 or more stars). Thank you, ***** ***** luck to you!

Expert:  ScottyMacEsq replied 1 year ago.

Did you have any other questions before you rate this answer?

Expert:  ScottyMacEsq replied 1 year ago.

Are you there? Please note that I am still here, awaiting your response or rating... (please note that rating closes this question out, so if there's nothing else, please rate it so that I can assist other customers that are waiting for answers to their questions)

Expert:  ScottyMacEsq replied 1 year ago.

Should I continue to await your response, or may I assist the other customers that are waiting?

Expert:  ScottyMacEsq replied 1 year ago.

Hello?

Expert:  ScottyMacEsq replied 1 year ago.

My apologies, but I must assist the other customers that are waiting. If there's nothing else, please rate this answer. Please note that I don't get any credit for the time and effort that I spent on this answer unless and until you rate it 3 or more stars (good or better) AND press the "submit" button, if applicable. If you feel that I have gone above and beyond in this answer (my average answer is about 10 minutes) bonuses are greatly appreciated. Thank you, ***** ***** luck to you!

▼ RATING REQUIRED! ▼ Please don't forget to Rate my service positively. It's only after you rate that I am credited.

Expert:  ScottyMacEsq replied 1 year ago.

I see that you have not responded in some time. Please note that this question is still open until you rate it. I believe that I have answered your question, but if you have any other questions, please let me know.If not, and you have not yet, please rate my answer. Please note that I don't get any credit for my answer unless and until you rate it a 3, 4, 5 (good or better). Thank you, ***** ***** good luck to you!

Expert:  ScottyMacEsq replied 1 year ago.

Did you have any other questions before you rate this answer?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hello I'm sorry for the delay
Thank you so much for the long answer I'm not sure how to make such an agreement
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Sample agreement could help where I can fill in the blanks
Plus I think my husband had made some changes in our original deed and sold some properties that he boght while we are together due to hardships in the bussiness/losses and I may of signed it thinking it's our tax return
He claims he didn't do any of such but I would like to stay safe is there any reason for me to worries since we have been working together but I was removed about 10 years ago from being an employee in the business but still worked on all Internet side of the business
Graphic/web design and marketing
I hope all of that is my imagination since we were always at best terms with each other but things seem to have change
Expert:  ScottyMacEsq replied 1 year ago.

I can't give you any specific drafting ideas or advice, as that would constitute representation. You can find a sample agreement here: http://family.findlaw.com/divorce/sample-separation-agreement.html. The point is to get him to agree that this is not something that will be binding upon your divorce.

If there's nothing else, please rate this answer. Please note that I don't get any credit for the time and effort that I spent on this answer unless and until you rate it a 3, 4, 5 (good or better) AND press the "submit" button, if applicable. If you feel that I have gone above and beyond in this answer (my average answer is about 10 minutes) bonuses are greatly appreciated. Thank you, ***** ***** luck to you!

▼ RATING REQUIRED! ▼ Please don't forget to Rate my service as OK Service or higher. It's only then I am credited.7

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for help how do I rate the answers
Expert:  ScottyMacEsq replied 1 year ago.

On your screen, there should be some stars. Click the appropriate star level and then submit (if applicable).

If you feel that I have gone above and beyond in this answer (my average answer is about 10 minutes) bonuses are greatly appreciated. Thank you, ***** ***** luck to you!

Expert:  ScottyMacEsq replied 1 year ago.

Are you able to see the place where you can rate? Again, I think that they're stars, but it could be some other rating method (as they change things up from time to time)

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you I will asap
Expert:  ScottyMacEsq replied 1 year ago.

My pleasure. Again, If you feel that I have gone above and beyond in this answer (my average answer is about 10 minutes) bonuses are greatly appreciated. Thank you, ***** ***** luck to you!

Expert:  ScottyMacEsq replied 1 year ago.

(which you can do after you rate)

Expert:  ScottyMacEsq replied 1 year ago.

So are you able to see where you can rate it? (it's still not rated, which means it's still open and pending on my screen... that's why I'm asking)

Expert:  ScottyMacEsq replied 1 year ago.

You may need to click the "submit" button after rating it, depending on what your screen looks like. Again, they change things from time to time, but it's not showing that you have submitted the rating yet.

Expert:  ScottyMacEsq replied 1 year ago.

Did you have any other questions before you rate this answer?

Expert:  ScottyMacEsq replied 1 year ago.

I see you're back on. Can you see where to rate this answer? Again, this question remains open until you rate it...

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Not able to see it on my android I will try on a pc later on today
Expert:  ScottyMacEsq replied 1 year ago.

Okay...

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