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Ely
Ely, Counselor at Law
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 11446
Experience:  Private practice with focus on family, criminal, PI, consumer protection, and business consultation.
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Dear Family Lawyer, In July of 2017 an injunction against me

Customer Question

Dear Family Lawyer,
In July of 2017 an injunction against me prohibiting me from pursuing any type of custody or visitation with my son elapses and I can proceed however I wish. However, it has come to my attention that my ex-wife is feeling undue stress even now more than 18 months away with the idea of me dragging the family to court to re-litigate all of this. I want to alleviate my ex of any fears. In July of 2017 I will not pursue contact, against mom and stepdad wishes, which it would be, to see a child I haven't seen since he was 4 and then would be 13. All indications are he is getting good from them. However, I want to retain some legal right to go back to court under the most extreme circumstances, which I don't anticipate. So here's the question I want to strike the balance between help my ex and being able to see him-if needed. So, I was thinking of circulating a STIPULATION to the current order saying some version of:
"The legal father of XXX will not pursue custody or visitation under any circumstances unless the following extreme situations present themselves:
1. The mother dies.
2. The father receives a written request from son to have contact with him and the current guardians will not allow it under any circumstances.
What do you think about this strategy?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  mmdesq replied 1 year ago.

I think it is logical and makes good sense under the circumstances .

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Since you are aware of the other factors, in light of my other question that you answered, this does seem to be a reasonable and kind thing to do?

Also, since this is basically a self-imposed contract with me and against me (for lack of legal jargon)...Should I write this up, notarize it, and send 1 copy to the court clerk for filing and 1 copy to my ex for her records OR is there more to the process?....would a court date and a hearing be set for a matter like this?

Does my ex - need to also agree to it, notarize it, and mail back to the court? Thanks for clarity regarding process.

Expert:  mmdesq replied 1 year ago.

Why don't you just do nothing. This would be the same result.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Can't - nothing won't give me ex the mental and stress relief I am trying to achieve. She doesn't trust me and won't talk me about the children or any other matter with fear that I will use something she says or does in july 2017 to put together a case to get my son with me. That's what I need your help on the above. Thanks.

Expert:  mmdesq replied 1 year ago.

Then your course of action sounds reasonable.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Ok.. Thanks...but I need answers to a few specifics regarding the mechanics of the process...

Since this is basically a self-imposed contract with me and against me (for lack of legal jargon)...Should I write this up, notarize it, and send 1 copy to the court clerk for filing and 1 copy to my ex for her records OR is there more to the process?

....would a court date and a hearing be set for a matter like this or can all of this be done out of court?

Does my ex - need to also agree to it, notarize it, and mail back to the court?

Thanks for clarity regarding process.

Expert:  mmdesq replied 1 year ago.

I would not file with court or notarize. I would just do a letter to ex and sign.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Why wouldn't you file with the court?

Would a signed letter to my ex basically have the same weight as filing with the court? She wants some with a little weight. The goal again is help remove some fears that she is having.

Expert:  mmdesq replied 1 year ago.

My suggestion would be to try to alleviate her feels with fears of the letter, but not take any irreversible steps. None of us has a crystal ball and you are making a potentially permanent decision based off of temporary facts which could change. One example, what if mother and stepfather passed away in an car accident? Will you regret preparing an order giving up your rights under the circumstances? I would try to recently satisfy her concern but not irrevocably give up your rights forever under any and all circumstances.

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