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The process here is fairly straightforward, although I can understand why the superintendent did not give you the breakdown (as he is not an attorney). All you need to do is file in court for 'guardianship' of your grandson. Have your son sign a sworn and notarized affidavit stating that he wants to transfer guardianship to you. You'd need to file this where the child resides and have a hearing in front of the judge. There you can tell the judge that the child lives with you and that you need the ability to make legal decisions on behalf of this child. If you are seen as 'fit', the judge can sign off on guardianship. Then, as guardians, you can make legal decisions such as enrollment, taking the child for medical appointments, even which religious education you may want the grandchild to have. Please contact your local county family law courthouse, speak to the clerk, obtain the guardianship packet, fill it out and file it, and wait your hearing. Be aware that you would need to notify both parents that you are filing and both can potentially challenge it. This is all you would need to do to get this resolved.
My apologies but what you are describing IS legal guardianship, and it cannot be provided by proxy. If your son is refusing to give you guardianship, you then have to still file for it, but do so by claiming that he is 'unfit' to care for the child. This is not a situation where if you are seeking rights he can assign you anything absent a judicial decree. He could potentially draft that affidavit stating that you can act on his behalf, but without a judge's stamp the school district and others can simply refuse to honor the wishes. Again, you can try it, but you will likely be back in court and then filing for guardianship once this letter is refused. Guardianship does not always have to be given, it can be taken if the parents are refusing to grant such rights--keep in mind that this is ultimately being done in the best interest of the child since if you cannot enroll the child over the behavior of the parent, it is the child who suffers.