My daughter has been basically abandoned by her husband. He had an affair and moved out on short notice. They have two year old twins. He has been invited to visit at the family residence since his departure- he has essentially spent less than 4 hours per week with them since he left (about Mid July).
His leaving has been a complete shock, there was no warning, in fact , he was speaking about a joint family
venture with myself and my husband in September ONE day before he decided to leave. His behaviors have been erratic. My daughter does not believe he is mentally stable and in fact they agreed that he would only come visit the children at their home under supervision (which he has done,but as stated this has been minimal contact even though my daughter has encouraged more).
He is continuing the affair with the other woman, which of course he has that right. However, he and my daughter had agreed (verbally) that there would be no visitation
allowed by either her or him with any significant other during the term of their separation
(which in VA they must be separated for a year before divorce
After several weeks of VERY little visitation, he is asking to take the children out to dinner (likely with the other woman). My daughter feels very uncomfortable about his mental state as well as is uncomfortable about him taking them out with another woman. Not for her,but for the children, the confusion.
He is behind on his agreed upon payments to her for child care, there is no written separation agreement at this time(my daughter's lawyer suggested waiting on this for a few months to see if the marriage
issues would resolve)
She wants to say no, is this detrimental to her? She has been very forthcoming in inviting him to be part of their life (granted under supervision because of his instability). She has solid documentation of all of the offers, his last minute calls to cancels visits and no shows and documentation of lack of responsibility for payment of care
Looking for some advice on how she might move forward.
Could she say no, that he could come visit as agreed upon (verbally) and that until they work out a written agreement, that this is the way it will be?
How might she go about getting courts (lawyers) to understand her concern for the mental state of the father and the safety of her children.