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Good afternoon. I certainly understand the situation and your concern. From a legal standpoint, you would likely be viewed as a step-parent. She is the biological mother and he is the father, so even though you were married to him at the time, it would not necessarily give you a legal right to act on behalf of the child. Of course, you could try and adopt the child, but if the mother wants to keep the child and not give up her legal rights, then this is not going to happen. I understand the argument you are making above but you would not have a legal right to the child.
I just wanted to follow up and see if you had any other questions or needed me to clarify something. I am here to help, so please let me know. Thanks!