First of all, my thanks to both you and to your husband for your service to our country!
You asked, can you do something about it? I'd love to tell you that you have rights (as regards ***** ***** support debacle) as his wife----but the reality is that when it comes to his spending money, whether it is given to support his child or whether it is spent on cars and motorcycles, you really don't have any control aside from persuasion. The law gives you no legal rights to control the spending of your husband while you are married. And likewise, he has no control over your spending either.
Spouses---at least spouses that are not involved in a divorce with a court to help them prevent the other spouse from wasting money---have zero control over what the other spends. Of course if only one is earning income that spouse can control access to the money. However if the money is there and available then he---or you for that matter---can spend it. This is not really an issue of rights, per se, as much as it is a matter of cooperation in a marriage.
I do have a remedy for you though---but you have to convince him that it is the right thing to do.
If the reason that he is paying too much is because he is threatened with loss of communication with his daughter then that is easily remedied. When he files the motion for Modification of Child Support he also asks the court to Modify the Custody Order as well so that he is entitled to a certain amount of time every day to connect with his child on FaceTime, or any other form of communication and the judge will generally order that he be allowed that time. The court will not tolerate the mother's behavior in essentially blackmailing your husband, demanding extra money each month, just so he can remain in contact with his child. The court will be on his side on this issue. However, as his wife, you may have to convince him that moving forward with the Motion arguing that it is in the best interest of your marriage too. This isn't just about his daughter and his ex any more.
You may reply back to me using the Reply link and I will be happy to continue to assist you until I am able to address your concerns, to your satisfaction.
Kindly, remember to rate my service to you. That is how I am credited for assisting you.
I wish you and yours the best in 2015,