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Good afternoon. I certainly understand the situation and your concern. Yes, you can speak with your spouse about the custody arrangement and see if they would agree to this. You are giving them two options, so it is possible they will be comfortable with one of them and agree, so you can relocate. However, they do not have to agree and if you want to relocate and take the child with you, you would need permission from the court.
Thank you for the reply. The Judge can not stop you, from moving. What the Judge can do is say that the child will stay with the father ( if it is in the best interest of the child) and then allow and order you to get her for the holidays. It is normally more then just saying that you are moving and either the father can have the child or I will take her with me and then if he keeps her, to allow visitation. If you want to take the child, you can petition and ask the court for it. If you want to move, then you can ask the father now and enter into an agreed order, for the holidays.
I just wanted to follow up and see if you had any other questions or needed me to clarify something. I am here to help, so please let me know. Thanks!