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Good morning. I certainly understand the situation and your concern and it is very nice of you to even to offer to help him and get him set up. It is important to understand that both you and your wife have a shared legal right and interest in the home and she has just as much say as you do, when it comes to who can reside there. In this case, it is going to have to be something that it worked out between the two of you, since you can not just go to court force him out or prevent him from entering by calling the police, if she allows it. While I understand your view point and it makes sense to have him live elsewhere, it is still her son so she has a different take on the issue and likely wants to help him and watch over him. As such, it would be hard to remove him when she says Yes and you say No and situations like this, often make things hard on the marriage. Maybe him you could speak with him and influence him or even help him out a little more, he will be more inclined to agree to live on his own.
I just wanted to follow up and see if you had any other questions or needed me to clarify something. I am here to help, so please let me know. Thanks!