Hi, My name is Philip. I am an attorney with over 16 years experience. Hopefully I can help you with your legal question.
I am truly sorry to be the one to bear this bad news. What you're describing, this is a division of retired pay as allowed under Title 10 U.S. Code section 1408, The so-called former spouse protection act.
Because division of property under this law is considered a division of marital property there is no way to modify it after the final decree of divorce
has been issued unless parties agree or you can show fraud on the part of your ex. In other words, to stop this you would need to prove your ex lied during the court case that led to the division of property.
Now, if your ex dies before you then her right to this money will end.
However, so long as she is alive she's entitled to receive this money.
This is the part of my job I don't like...when the law is not in favor of my customer. I wish I could tell you that there was an easy way to change thid but I can only provide you information based on the law so that you can act on the best available information to you...I wish I had better news, but can only hope you recognize and understand my predicament and don't shoot the messenger. I'm sorry!
Please let me know if you have more questions. I am happy to help if I can. Otherwise, please rate the answer so I may get credit for my work.