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LegalGems
LegalGems, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
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Experience:  Experienced Family Law Attorney
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Last year my husband and I got divorced, and then got back

Customer Question

Hello!
Last year my husband and I got divorced, and then got back together and remarried.
During that break my husband was in a relationship and now has a child. Baby girl was born earlier this year. My husband left the momma when she was 3 months along and did not check on the baby momma during the pregnancy, because she basically tried to trap him and her parents are awful people.
The child is now born- the mother filed for child support and establishing/ disestablishing paternity. It is my guess that it is my husband's child (we will have a paternity test, but all the facts make it look like its his). The baby momma is still married, in process of getting a divorce now.(it is my understanding that she hasn't changed her legal name, but she filed for establishing paternity under maiden name - is it even legal?- - question number 1.).
My husband hasn't been served a summons yet, but he knows she filed, because attorneys keep contacting him (odd).
We will try to get some portion of custody of the child- the baby momma hasn't contacted my husband (granted he did change telephone number, but she still has his email address, and access to social media). 2. do you think it;s possible since she hasn't checked on her since he left her?
I have her telephone number. I know that my husband doesn't have anything to do with the woman or the child and I know that it is because he feels that it would hurt me.
I don't want to make things worse, but do you think that it would hurt for me to reach out to her and try to establish a relationship? I know that I have a huge influence on my husband and if he realizes I am fine with the whole situation- it's going to be easier for all of us.
I want to be proactive.
Would it hurt during the child support/ custody proceedings?
I am in Tampa, FL.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  LegalGems replied 1 year ago.
Good Day! I'll do my best to assist you. Please remember: I only provide general information and a local attorney should always be consulted. A few more minutes please as I prepare a response for you.
Expert:  LegalGems replied 1 year ago.
First, congratulations on your reconciliation and your supportive outlook on this. That is heart warming.
As for the paternity issue, once paternity is established, the bio father becomes liable for child support, but this also bestows the bio father with right to see the child- either visitation, or even custody. http://dor.myflorida.com/dor/childsupport/paternity.html
In determining custody, the court will look at the best interests of the child.
Statute 61.13 lists these factors:
The demonstrated capacity and disposition of each parent to facilitate and encourage a
close and continuing parent-child relationship, to honor the time-sharing schedule, and
to be reasonable when changes are required.
(b) The anticipated division of parental responsibilities after the litigation, including the
extent to which parental responsibilities will be delegated to third parties.
(c) The demonstrated capacity and disposition of each parent to determine, consider, and
act upon the needs of the child as opposed to the needs or desires of the parent.
(d) The length of time the child has lived in a stable, satisfactory environment and the
desirability of maintaining continuity.
(e) The geographic viability of the parenting plan, with special attention paid to the needs
of school-age children and the amount of time to be spent traveling to effectuate the
parenting plan. This factor does not create a presumption for or against relocation of
either parent with a child.
(f) The moral fitness of the parents.
(g) The mental and physical health of the parents.
(h) The home, school, and community record of the child.
(i) The reasonable preference of the child, if the court deems the child to be of sufficient
intelligence, understanding, and experience to express a preference.
(j) The demonstrated knowledge, capacity, and disposition of each parent to be informed of
the circumstances of the minor child, including, but not limited to, the child’s friends,
teachers, medical care providers, daily activities, and favorite things.
(k) The demonstrated capacity and disposition of each parent to provide a consistent
routine for the child, such as discipline, and daily schedules for homework, meals, and
bedtime.
(l) The demonstrated capacity of each parent to communicate with and keep the other
parent informed of issues and activities regarding the minor child, and the willingness
of each parent to adopt a unified front on all major issues when dealing with the child.
(m) Evidence of domestic violence, sexual violence, child abuse, child abandonment, or
child neglect, regardless of whether a prior or pending action relating to those issues
has been brought. If the court accepts evidence of prior or pending actions regarding
domestic violence, sexual violence, child abuse, child abandonment, or child neglect,
the court must specifically acknowledge in writing that such evidence was considered
when evaluating the best interests of the child.
(n) Evidence that either parent has knowingly provided false information to the court
regarding any prior or pending action regarding domestic violence, sexual violence,
child abuse, child abandonment, or child neglect.
(o) The particular parenting tasks customarily performed by each parent and the division of
parental responsibilities before the institution of litigation and during the pending
litigation, including the extent to which parenting responsibilities were undertaken by
third parties.
(p) The demonstrated capacity and disposition of each parent to participate and be involved
in the child’s school and extracurricular activities.
(q) The demonstrated capacity and disposition of each parent to maintain an environment
for the child which is free from substance abuse.
(r) The capacity and disposition of each parent to protect the child from the ongoing
litigation as demonstrated by not discussing the litigation with the child, not sharing
documents or electronic media related to the litigation with the child, and refraining
from disparaging comments about the other parent to the child.
(s) The developmental stages and needs of the child and the demonstrated capacity and
disposition of each parent to meet the child’s developmental needs.
(t) Any other factor that is relevant to the determination of a specific parenting plan,
including the time-sharing schedule.
The court generally won't hold it against an alleged bio father if they don't spend time/support the child prior to the court determination of paternity- precisely because the court understands one does not want to become emotionally/financially attached to a child that is not his.
Generally attorneys will advise the spouse to stay out of it, at least in the beginning stages; or to appear as a couple at negotiations; but rarely is it advised for the spouse to independently contact the third party.
A great option for situations like this is mediation- if the parties can mediate a custody/visitation schedule, along with support issues, and other issues necessary to deal with when raising a child, this can avoid litigation, a costly and emotionally draining opportunity.
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Expert:  LegalGems replied 1 year ago.
Here is a link to locate an attorney:
http://apps.americanbar.org/legalservices/findlegalhelp/home.cfm
Should you have further questions please post here to continue our dialogue. Otherwise,
kindly rate positively
as I am an individual contributor and rely on positive ratings to receive compensation for providing the requested information - this does not result in additional charges to the customer, but rather allows the site to credit my account a percentage to compensate me for my time.
THANK YOU!

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