Please bear with me.
Living in CA, approx 6 years ago my son was sued for back child support
by his wife 2 wks before his son's, his younger child's, 18th birthday; $75,000 plus 10% interest!!!
Please believe me, he dearly loves his children, had not been a 'dead beat dad" only that his wife was an alcoholic, a drug abuser, always had a man living with her to help pay bills, and enough money for alcohol and drugs--mainly meth. He knew the child support wouldn't go toward the children but to support her habits. Somehow, until years later when she began to lose her teeth from meth, she'd been able to hold a good, high being job, while my son lost his job of 20yrs (on which the child support was based) due to poor work habits stemming from extreme worry over his 2 children living with their mother
and boyfriend(s). He had to accept a low paying job selling cars, thus no money to hire an attorney to fight for full custody. That, plus Child Services said fathers seldom, if ever, get custody unless they can prove mother is being physically abusive, which she was not. Numerous times his ex told him, "I don't need your f-ing money'..."I don't want your f-ing money", etc. Which, of course, was fine with him.
Because his son had the house key, my son always made sure there was food in what had been empty cupboards and 'frig, plus several times a week took his son out to eat. He was always there for his son. Even coached his Little Keague team. Mainly due to the suruation at home, his older child was seldom living there, but with friends, instead.
The bot***** *****ne: I have heard that if there had been a verbal agreement between parents re child support, there might be a chance, even years after the fact, the court would reconsider, and recend the order? After all. my son has been paying $100-sometimes more depending on his income from whichever job he happened to have. I am thinking the fact his ex never tried sue him until just 2 wks before his son's 18th birthday might prove there had been some sort of verbal agreement. "I don't want your f-ing money"..."I don't need your f-ing money."
Some might understandably ask:
1) Why did he stick it out--his marriage
--for so long before she filed for divorce
A: For a long time he hoped she would change, plus, later, because he didn't want to leave his children in her care.
2).Why didn't he go back to court to have the order adjusted after he lost his higher paying job?"
A: All I can say is that he had had it "up to here" with anything related to her. Dealing with her in any way---which was necessary so long as she had custody--left him so emotionally, even physically drained that he could barely endure it; it literally made him sick. That, and the fact she would manipule the court with her feigned sweetness and tears. And she has a payback" mentality; she would constantly-continually leave abusive messages (he did change his phone number in case there might actually be an dmergency call from her re the kids.) and with her nagging would use the children in her revenge against him. She would take it out on them like she told her youngest child, her daughter approx 8 years old, after the divorce. "Since your father isn't here, I'm taking it out on you." All that, and for some reason, he is loath to air "dirty laundry" with anyone. Tells me that even all she has done to him, still "She is the mother of my children.
Evil is not a word I often use. However, her actions re my son have been so.
BTW, here in CA there is no Statute of Limitations, which means my son will have to pay child support until the day he dies. Also means I cannot bequeath my mobile home to him, as Child Services will put a Lien on it. Additionally, he has a very serious, life threatening
medical condition getting worse by the day, but because if his child support, no money for health insurance. Partly due to Child Support, will never make enough money to live on his own. He has been living here with my husband and myself, both on S.S. barely making ends meet.
I feel so bad for him having no hope for a future. Plus that his ex came out smelling like a rose.
Sorry this is so lengthy. Just wanted you understand, and perhaps advise me re any chance the court would consider a verbal agreement based upon the info above.