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FamilyAnswer
FamilyAnswer, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 26321
Experience:  10 + years of handling Family Law, Divorce, Child Custody and Child Support cases
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From BR LA! I am a 38yo gay white male, never married

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Hello from BR LA! I am a 38yo gay white male, never married and I have been with my same male partner for 17years this November. I was 21yo when we first met, and within the first 1 1/2 years I had completely moved into my by boyfriend's home that he owned prior to us ever meeting - let alone dating and a serious relationship (This was roughly 1999) . Prior to living with him, I was a poor 21yo and shared a two bedroom apartment with my best friend and her boyfriend. I should also mention, there is a 13yo age difference between us so while i was 21 he was 34yo, had a great job and a beautiful life we created. In 2008 my partner decided to buy a new home and at the time he asked if I would like to be listed on the deed of the house. Because I was still unsure the fate of our relationship, and things were going well, he was indeed the breadwinner while i worked for a cellular company. Our arrangement was that I would basically work to pay my basic living expenses (car,ins, cell, health ins, and contribute additionally when I had the extra income. While now it seems a juvenile and poor naive decision not to be placed on the deed of the home when presented with the opportunity, I was extremely green to the inner and outer workings of the real estate market and truly wanted to make the home ours, regardless of whose name was on the deed. I call it being stupidly optimistic that everything would work out for everyone and my main concern was that - I honestly did not know if our realationship would endure and I pride myself being an honest and loyal friend and lover. I also had little to zero family support and I did not want it ever to be viewed that i was taking advantage of this man....not 50yo older than me but still a big age gap that my family rejected for many years to come. I thought we would live our fairly tale in our own little house and someday I would graduate from Nursing School and with my income as a nurse - I could help to contribute to an even nicer home - with both of our names on the deed. Wow! I'm finally realizing I should have taken the golden egg when presented to me and allowed him to add me to the deed to the house. We are still living in the home we moved into in 2008 and will celebrate 17 years of living together in November 2015. While I'm proud to say we overcame the typical timeframe for most monogomous gay male couples 5-10yrs, I have become increasingly sadder as the years have gone buy. I have faced a series of health and personal setbacks. Please understand, I love this man dearly with all of my heart and I really thought he was my soul mate. However, jealously appeared and our relationship has been plagued by cheating accusations (from him to me which always were and have been unfounded, and due to the severity of my injuries and the necessary time to recover from spinal neck surgery - I had 5 herniated disk that were dangerously close to compressing my spinal cord the options I were left with was surgery, each surgery took about a year to fully recover and was forced to vacate a great job with his reassurance he would help me have returned to school to complete my BS in Nursing and am excited to say I am applying to Nursing school this fall. However, sadly, I feel we are both deeply unhappy. He is very much a type A personality who must have constant control over all situations. I even suggested he sell some of his art work to help me get on my feet and his response "over my dead body". While i feel (and he has always known) that someday I would like to start a family, he has recently told me that he is too old to adopt or surrogate an infant child or even a small toddler. In one fatal swoop he shattered a lifelong dream. The singular event that broke my heart and soul is when I overheard him telling a group of mutual friends- that he had no intention of ever marrying me (years before the recent ruling) and I would never get a dime of his money. It upsets me to tears because he loves to paint me as nothing but a gold digger and that while his hopes and dreams mattered, mine never have. I have bee called many things, but gold digger I am not. I've even suggested that we meet with an attorney who could possibly provide us alternatives to resolve our differences and he snakily replied, "What do you think I owe you? Alimony?" before rolling his eyes as if to say "yeah buddy when hell freezes over. I am filled with sadness and sense of entrapment. I fear if our relationship ends-he will fight tooth and nail to ensure I leave with nothing but the clothes on my back, I do not think I'm entitled to half of his earnings Nevertheless, I gave him 17 of the prime years of my life and had he expressed his no desire to have children.i am sure i would have walked years ago. But to string me along pretending to want children.was just cold and cruel. I am at a loss of what to do. I feel i am drowning with no one genuinely willing to offer me a friendly hand to help or advice. Please help
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  FamilyAnswer replied 1 year ago.
Good morning. I am sorry to hear about what you are going through and how much time and effort you have put into this relationship. What I do need is for you to clarify exactly what it is you want to know, so I can provide you with a direct answer.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Good Morning. I apologize I thought that I did ask a specific question. So, please allow me to ask again. Even though my partner and I have been together for 17 years........and I live in a very conservative state. Do I not have any rights after devoting so many years 17 and counting to this one man? Is there not a common law marriage for gay couples. If he wanted, could he simply throw me out on the streets and I could not find for anything? to help until i was up on my feet. Can a court not stipulate how long or for how short of a period he would have to help me with "alimony" since he has been my sole source of income for practically 17 years - give or take a few prior to my medical surgeries. Can he not be forced to forfeit some of his artwork (and it is not 10,000 if the alternative is me sleeping in homeless shelters? are there no laws protecting gay couples 15+ years or more and you both decide to go your separate ways?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
are there no lawyers willing to take a case such as mine pro bono given to help me fight against someone who feels that after 17 years .....longer than most heterosexual couples stay married.....Is there no lawyers willing to help a poor college student - yes even i 30's to fight to win me any rights when the only other alternative is sleeping in the streets. This man makes almost 200.000 a year? i mean this feels like David and Goliath ......do you understand my point? and it is not my intention to take him to the cleaners.....but wouldn't at least one lawyer feel I'm entitled to some type of spousal support even for a short while?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
hello are u there?
Expert:  FamilyAnswer replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for the additional information. Louisiana does not have common law marriage, so that is not something which you could fall back on, to try and make a claim towards his money and assets. I am going to be up front and honest and share with you that unless you have something in writing, evidencing an agreement between the two of you, you would not be entitled to anything. You would be in a dating relationship, just like a man/women who have lived together for 17 years but never got married or entered into any type of agreement in regard to ownership interests. You should have 100% had your name added to the title on the home, since you would now possess a legal right and interest in it and he would have had to buy you out, if he wanted you to leave or be the sole owner. Even though you have put in and invested so much over the years, he does not have to pay you any support or give you anything unless you have something in writing to evidence an agreement. Since you were never married, this relationship would be one that is viewed as a boyfriend/boyfriend type and that you have been dating for a long period of time. I know it is not what you want to hear but I am being upfront with you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
So basically you are saying that nothing nor an attorney would be willing to fight for me when this man makes $2000 or could attempt to setup a trust on my behalf when the only alternative is living homeless on the streets and probably dead within a year? And I could never be added to this deed. It was not like this was discussed for days, weeks, hours. I was a naive 21yo who should have forgone love and just left the moment my name was not added to the deed? And the reason why I didn't immediately jump on ship was because I had no idea about deeds and mortages and he told me that he needed an answer on the spot and their was no time to talk to attorney. as a 38yo man that sounds suspicious but to a naive 21yo who knew nothing about real estate I trusted what he said. Can an Amendment be made to add me to the deed? Would no lawyer be willing to represent me due to i was basically lied to by this man from the get go?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
200000 a year to 2000. I can he not be forced to testify in front of a judge and if proven he has perjured himself - would that not reflect negatively on him for doing exactly what he did..lying to someone who had no idea about the real estate market and then lied to again when asked can we meet with a lawyer and was told "no I have to given him an answer over the phone now" I mean he committed fraud against me via lies and manipulation. Would a judge not recognize that?
Expert:  FamilyAnswer replied 1 year ago.
An attorney may be willing to take the case and you can present evidence to show an agreement between you and him to give you a legal right in the home. As the moving party, you would need to show this if you want to prevail. He could easily come into court and say that while you dated and were together for all this time, there was never anything in writing signed by both parties, which would show an interest for him to share the home with you and this is a situation where the relationship has ended and he wants to simply move on. If you want to show fraud and misrepresentation, you would need to show/prove that he said things which you relied on and conditions which you met and things which you did based upon what he said and now he is failing to perform under the agreement,
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
what if someone was terminally sick......can they not petition the court to add on an additional party since my decision for declining was based on lies and the threat that I had to give them an answer immediately on the phone .....I have no idea who this guy could have been talking to on the other end of the phone.......It was a con. Is there not a crime, even in Louisiana?
Expert:  FamilyAnswer replied 1 year ago.
Can you please clarify what happened in this situation?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
and do you have any contacts in Baton Rouge Louisiana who you do not think would be willing to try to help me ? to persecute this guy for fraud for using one of the oldest fraud tatic I've ever heard of ......bait and switch. familiar with that?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Ok.....are you aware of any attorneys in Louisiana who would be to possibly speak with me or i can meet at their office in Baton Rouge? Anyone at all?
Expert:  FamilyAnswer replied 1 year ago.
If you are talking about prosecution, that is at the discretion of the State and you would need to speak with the police and inform them as to what happened and they would have to turn the case over to be filed by the State. If you want to file a civil lawsuit, that would have to be done by you and you should speak with your local legal aid office, if you do not have the funds to retain private counsel, to help
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
So even he wrote a letter to the bank that finances the home or has refinancied it.......could he not specifically ask that someone - namely me since i have lived in the home since he moved in in 2008 be added to the deed as well? if it was notarized and witnessed? I mean what happens if he had a massive heart attack? would there be no option for his sister or nephew be added to the deed? I mean......if he typed a letter stating that Mr. XXXXX should have been included on the deed at time of the sale of the home in 2008 but I am NOW asking that he be added as co or joint deed holder? is that not a possibility?
Expert:  FamilyAnswer replied 1 year ago.
Yes, if he wanted to add you to the deed, he could simply execute a quit claim deed and you would be on title and have an ownership interest in it. If something were to happen to him, the home would be part of his estate and pass to his heir, so in this case, likely his sister, absent something else in his will.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
is is that a fairy simple process to execute a quit claim deed? Because he originally lied to me for 7 years - under fraudulent reasons to prevent me from being on the deed. So if his option is to either add me to the deed or face fraud charges.....can that be executed quickly or is it a lengthy process? 2-3 months? 3-6 months? a telephone call to the bank that is financing the home? a trip to his lawyers office? can you please give me an idea of how long that would take from once initiated to until i would appear as well on the deed?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I'm sorry did u get my last questions ? because i will be requesting my family to prosecute him due to fradulent misrepresentation. can you please provide more insight into that process please
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Pardon me...i am on the phone with my mother now and i will be paying via cc for all of the questions.....can you please respond to these questions so i can translate for her:is is that a fairy simple process to execute a quit claim deed? Because he originally lied to me for 7 years - under fraudulent reasons to prevent me from being on the deed. So if his option is to either add me to the deed or face fraud charges.....can that be executed quickly or is it a lengthy process? 2-3 months? 3-6 months? a telephone call to the bank that is financing the home? a trip to his lawyers office? can you please give me an idea of how long that would take from once initiated to until i would appear as well on the deed?
Expert:  FamilyAnswer replied 1 year ago.
Yes, a quit claim deed is easy to execute and would need to be signed by all interested parties and filed and recorded.
Expert:  FamilyAnswer replied 1 year ago.
I have to step away for a few minutes but will be happy to respond and answer any additional questions you may have. As such, if you have any more, please share them with me and once I return, they will be answered
Expert:  FamilyAnswer replied 1 year ago.
I just wanted to follow up and see if you had any other questions or needed me to clarify something. I am here to help, so please let me know. Thanks!