I see what you are asking now:
You are correct, generally, the party who makes more pays for fees/alimony, although that's not always guaranteed.
Now, what you're talking about, if I understand, is if you should acknowledge the papers you've received and if signing that you've received those papers means that you agree to pay alimony and attorney fees.
If you sign to acknowledge the paperwork, you are not agreeing to anything, other than that you've received notice of the suit.
Asking for spousal support
and legal fees in an initial pleading is common, because if you don't ask for it up front, then the Judge can never grant it. However, asking for it doesn't mean you get it, so even though she's pled for it in her paperwork, that's no guarantee that she'll get it.
You can file a countersuit and ask for fees and alimony if you want