Sounds like you need to be firm with him and let him know that how great your relationship would be if he would just stop drinking; but that you cannot make him do that. He will need to decide to do that on his own.
Let him know that you are going to move out and live separately until he has shown a track record of not having had a drink for at least 6-12 months [which is the lease terms typically found on an apartment lease]. You can still see him couple of nights a week and that will give you a chance to see how he is progressing and play the wait and see game. This will also set you up for filing a no fault divorce
under NC law:
Under NC law, marriages
may be dissolved and the parties thereto divorced from the bonds of matrimony on the application of either party, if and when the husband and wife have lived separate and apart for one year.
G.S. 52-10.2 provides:
“Resumption of marital relations” shall be defined as voluntary renewal of the husband and wife relationship, as shown by the totality of the circumstances. Isolated incidents of sexual intercourse between the parties shall not constitute resumption of marital relations.
Under present law, isolated incidents of sexual intercourse do not stop the statutory one-year period from running, provided such incidents do not amount to a “resumption of marital relations.” Whether or not such resumption of marital relations occurs is to be determined by “the totality of the circumstances.”
If things really are hopeless, then you can file for an at-fault divorce if he commits one of the following acts: (1) Abandons his or her family. (2) Maliciously turns the other out of doors. (3) By cruel or barbarous treatment endangers the life of the other. (4) Offers such indignities to the person of the other as to render his or her condition intolerable and life burdensome. (5) Becomes an excessive user of alcohol or drugs so as to render the condition of the other spouse intolerable and the life of that spouse burdensome. (6) Commits adultery. (North Carolina Statutes - Chapter 50 - Sections: 50-5.1 and 50-6)
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