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Ely
Ely, Counselor at Law
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 11458
Experience:  Private practice with focus on family, criminal, PI, consumer protection, and business consultation.
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My ex wife and I share joint legal and physical custody of

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My ex wife and I share joint legal and physical custody of our son, although we live cross country from one another. My son has expressed for the last year that he desperately wants to live with me, but I haven't discussed this with his mother yet because she has a tendency to make everything difficult, and do all she can to keep my son from me, so I've been trying to figure out how to broach the subject. She has also disregarded our visitation order for this summer's visitation (as far as her responsibilities are concerned, he is here with me now), has told my son that I am a liar (about what, I'm not sure) and has said other disparaging things to him about my wife and I recently, and moved from NC to Ohio last December, only giving me two week's notice that she was doing so (I was living in AZ at the time, but my parents and extended family live in NC and had liberal visitation with him while he was there, as well as my wife's parents, who have been his Grandparents since he was 18 months old when my wife and I married, so she took him away from half of his extended family without any consent or adequate notice, he has no family in or ties to Ohio whatsoever, and this was done as a voluntary requested transfer through the Air Force, which means she didn't have to go anywhere). She is also in the midst of a divorce from her current husband, who has been a great stepfather for the last 7 or so years, so he is taking that very hard. Our son has also said that my ex has a friend (female) living with them in their home with her children, who I don't know, and I was never notified of this other than by my son telling me. She has also recently become extremely verbally and psychologically abusive, with one episode concerning my son asking for a night light resulting in her kicking his door in, turning off all the lights, and locking him in his room, then sending her friend in later to take away a handheld gaming device he had turned on to use as a night light and verbally discipline him for it, then locking his door again. Our son is 10 and will be 11 in November. I am moving back to the east coast in August for work, so with me, he will again have liberal access to his extended family.
My question is this: If a mutual agreement between us cannot be made with regard to our son returning here before school starts if he goes back at all, to live with me, can he simply say here with me instead of returning to his mother (which would not be against the summer visitation order as she hasn't done what she was supposed to regarding those arrangements in order to exercise any summer visitation whatsoever) while I take the legal steps to modify custody through the courts? This is all in his best interest, and the question of him coming to live permanently with me was initiated by him, and he's been asking daily all summer for us to discuss it with his mom, because he doesn't want to go back. I just want my son to be safe and happy.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  FamilyAnswer replied 1 year ago.
Hi! I will be the professional that will be helping you today. I look forward to providing you with information to help solve your problem.
Good afternoon. I certainly understand the situation and your concern. Just to be clear, I know you have him now but when does he need to go back per the court order? You mentioned keeping him with you now and during the time to file for a modification but I am a tad confused as to why he would not have to go back? If you can just clarify that, I would be happy to respond. I am just curious to know when it is court ordered, that he be returned and why you would not do it.

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