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Dimitry K., Esq.
Dimitry K., Esq., Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 41220
Experience:  I provide family and divorce law advice to my clients in my firm.
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I am divorcing, we both reside in the house. she refuses to

Customer Question

I am divorcing, we both reside in the house. she refuses to help pay for the house bills (1/2). the majority of the bills are in my name with some hers and some joint. I have been the victim of mental abuse from her, her daughter and her parents for year.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Dimitry K., Esq. replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for your post. Please permit me to assist you with your concerns.
I am genuinely sorry to hear of your impending divorce. What specifically can I answer for you? I read the facts but I am unclear as to the actual question--please advise!
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Her father was here when I called the police due to her threats and blocking me from leaving the house. I need her to either pay 1/2 the house bills if she wishes to continue to live here until the house is sold of move out. She is becoming extremely aggressive if/when we talk do to her not liking what she hears or getting her way. Her father is apparently wanting, by asking the police, how he can file abuse charges against me, no proof, in fact it has been the other way as I have suffered for over 10 years between her parents, her daughter and her. I just want to get this over with, sell the house and move on. She is apparently talking her daughter into trying to file criminal charges for normal family interactions she herself has participated in and so did the daughter.
Expert:  Dimitry K., Esq. replied 1 year ago.
Hi,
Thank you for your follow-up. The answer I will provide may not be favorable, so I ask that you do not blame the messenger.
Legally she would owe these debts to the creditor, not to you, so you cannot make her pay you for living there (especially if both of you are equally responsible for the debts). As far as making her leave, you cannot legally evict a spouse as that would violate the spouse's right to remain in the 'homestead'. But you do have two options of making her leave:
1. If you file for divorce, you can also file a motion for 'sole occupancy', and request that the judge force her to leave. Judges are reluctant to do so unless you can show genuine concern of harm to you, or that there are small children and it would be in their best interest that she move out. But this is a bit of an outside chance, so I do not wish to mislead you as to your chances.
2. The other option is filing, yourself, for restraining order against her if she is violent against you and genuinely places you in fear of your life or personal safety. If granted, a temporary order of protection compels her to move out until the courts hear the case and either uphold the restraining order (which will bar her from returning), or dismiss it, at which time she can return.
As far as getting help with payments, you can file with the courts for 'spousal support' and seek 'alimony pendente lite' (which is support paid while divorcing but not yet divorced) for her share of the costs. If the courts agree, then she would have to pay you, and you could use the funds to cover the bills.
As an additional point--if they are attempting to set you up, keep your phone on and recording when speaking with her, and if in public, there is no requirement that she be notified that you are recording her. This is an extra precaution, just in case.
Sincerely,
Dimitry, Esq.