I'm Doug, and I'm very sorry to hear of your situation. My goal is to provide you with excellent service today.
The path to the step-parent adoption will be for you and your husband toto petition the court for the Termination of the Parental Rights
of the natural mother based on Abandonment
, along with a petition for a Step-Parent Adoption.
Along with the petition you must submit the name of a local adoption agency who will do a Home Study for submission to the court.
In terms of showing that abandonment has occurred, all you can do is make the allegation that the mother has not seen the child or assisted in supporting the child since he was 5 days old. That will be sufficient to show abandonment.
Here is a link to a legal article on the subject: http://www.gilbertazlaw.com/terminationofparentalrights.htm
You may apply for the step-parent adoption as part of the Petition to terminate the parental rights of the mother.
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I wish you and yours the best in 2015,