I hope this message finds you well, present circumstances excluded. I am a licensed attorney with over a decade of experience. It is a pleasure to assist you today.
The best laid plan as of the moment, especially if you have kids involved, is to make your best effort to stick it out with her. This will bode well for you if you do end up in divorce proceedings at a later date.
Understand that being the first to file in a divorce proceeding does not necessarily give you a leg up in the case anymore. They court will look at the facts and circumstances regardless and make a reasonable determination.
So, at the moment, try to figure out your affairs, finances, debts, assets, etc., in the event she does file for divorce. Make efforts to solve the problems in the marriage
too and document those efforts. This includes seeking counseling (many churches offer free marriage counseling), seeking mental health for your wife (even if she refuses), etc.
If a divorce petition is filed by either of you guys, following those actions will be the best course of action.
Let me know if you have any other questions.
Best wishes going forward and please also rate my answer positively as well.