How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Phillips Esq. Your Own Question
Phillips Esq.
Phillips Esq., Attorney-at-Law
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 17453
Experience:  B.A.; M.B.A.; J.D.
16551887
Type Your Family Law Question Here...
Phillips Esq. is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

We married 20 years ago and have eleven (11) children. ....

Customer Question

we married 20 years ago and have eleven (11) children. .... things fell apart when the abuse started.....the abuse got worse and I called police and he left. tried to come back a few times but he abuse never stopped. always said I 'mad' him that way......we have been separated over six years and he has till never paid a dime. I am afriad of getting a divorce becuase the kids do NOT wnat to be with him. they are araid of him. I felt that staying leagally married kept them from 'having' to go to dad's' especially if they didn't want to. I never kept them from him or locked him out. He never comes by or called just wrote horrible stuff to the older ones to get them to visit. THEY chose not too..... we have NEVER recived any help financially from him and he took me off the insurance and started 'giving me money' to pay for insurance so it wouldn't come out of his paycheck. we still do not recieve any other support from him at all. I ask him to but he justd started telling me it's my fault he is like this.......I am trying to keep my small rental linens business going to feed us. there are five still in the house.... abuse, neglect, emotional and physical. Church support, family support but he has his place and car and does not help us at all. house is literally falling apart before our eyes, termite damage irrepairable. no hot water, limited funds. not sure what to do. afraid of doing anything they will give him anything. he has taken everything else with him. left me the morgage and I am afraid if I divorce he will get 'half of everything which is???".... I need to move on and get my home livable. Termites swarming, plumbing failing, holes in the walls where he kicked and punched are patched, ceiling falling down around us. what do I do?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Phillips Esq. replied 1 year ago.
Hello: This isCustomer I am a licensed Attorney and I will be assisting you today.
we married 20 years ago and have eleven (11) children. .... things fell apart when the abuse started.....the abuse got worse and I called police and he left. tried to come back a few times but he abuse never stopped. always said I 'mad' him that way......we have been separated over six years and he has till never paid a dime. I am afriad of getting a divorce becuase the kids do NOT wnat to be with him. they are araid of him. I felt that staying leagally married kept them from 'having' to go to dad's' especially if they didn't want to. I never kept them from him or locked him out. He never comes by or called just wrote horrible stuff to the older ones to get them to visit. THEY chose not too..... we have NEVER recived any help financially from him and he took me off the insurance and started 'giving me money' to pay for insurance so it wouldn't come out of his paycheck. we still do not recieve any other support from him at all. I ask him to but he justd started telling me it's my fault he is like this.......I am trying to keep my small rental linens business going to feed us. there are five still in the house.... abuse, neglect, emotional and physical. Church support, family support but he has his place and car and does not help us at all. house is literally falling apart before our eyes, termite damage irrepairable. no hot water, limited funds. not sure what to do. afraid of doing anything they will give him anything. he has taken everything else with him. left me the morgage and I am afraid if I divorce he will get 'half of everything which is???".... I need to move on and get my home livable. Termites swarming, plumbing failing, holes in the walls where he kicked and punched are patched, ceiling falling down around us. what do I do?
Optional Information:
Country relating to Question: United States
State (if USA): Texas
What have you tried so far?: lots of counseling but each time, he walks out when the couselor ask for us BOTH to work on things, He blames me for everything and the way he is. family, friends, pastors, even kids tryt o talk to him. He is never wrong. his 'meaness' scares the kids. and me. I am trying to move on....

Response: I am so sorry for your difficulties. Regrettably, you cannot live in limbo and hope that he would just go away. You need to file for divorce to get him out of your live forever. When you file for divorce, you have to ask for spousal support and child support. It is incredibly unfair for him to live you alone with the children to take care of. See Texas Family Code Title 1 Chapter 8 Sections 8.051 to 8.061. The Court would review various factors before making a decision whether to award spousal support/maintenance. Some of the factors the Court would review are the following:
"(1) the financial resources of the spouse seeking maintenance, including the community and separate property and liabilities apportioned to that spouse in the dissolution proceeding, and that spouse's ability to meet the spouse's needs independently;
(2) the education and employment skills of the spouses, the time necessary to acquire sufficient education or training to enable the spouse seeking maintenance to find appropriate employment, the availability of that education or training, and the feasibility of that education or training;
(3) the duration of the marriage;
(4) the age, employment history, earning ability, and physical and emotional condition of the spouse seeking maintenance;
(5) the ability of the spouse from whom maintenance is requested to meet that spouse's personal needs and to provide..."
For complete list of factors, see Texas Family Code Section 8.052:
http://www.statutes.legis.state.tx.us/Docs/FA/htm/FA.8.htm#8.052
If you are afraid of losing the home, do not be because he may just do the right thing and agree for you to keep the home. If you reach agreement, the Court cannot divide the property 50/50. The Court only comes in if the parties do not agree. You should also get an Order for him to help pay for the mortgage.
As for the minor children, yes, as part of the divorce, the father could be given visitation. However, if the children refuse to go and see their father, he must then file complaint with the Court for contempt action against you. However, the Court cannot find you in contempt if you have encouraged the children to go and see their father and they still refuse to go and see their father.
You can use the site below to find help for your divorce case. The site has forms and instructions.
http://texaslawhelp.org/issues/family-law-and-domestic-violence/divorce-free-forms

Related Family Law Questions