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Dimitry K., Esq.
Dimitry K., Esq., Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 41220
Experience:  I provide family and divorce law advice to my clients in my firm.
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My son and his girlfriend lived in my house with my grandchildren

Customer Question

my son and his girlfriend lived in my house with my grandchildren for a year. my son does not believe some of the things his girlfriend has done to the kids. she has done things to my phone to be able to hear conversation. i did not ask her to move in. they were separated at the time and in a short period he ask that she move in because she had no place to live and she was drunk all the time. i also know she was doing drugs. i said for a couple of days because he had the kids ask me to lay a quilt trip on me a couple of days turned in to 10 months for her. yes i am that stupid and not able to say no because of my grandkids. she knew i was talking to my friends abiout thir pot use and drugs in my house and how badly the kids were being yelled at and the words they used with them. my 11 yr. old granddaughter was humiliated by the way her father talked to her and the nastyness and meanness of her mother. she announced one night when i came home from a full day at the hospital taking test that she was leaving. after 8 times of telling her to get out of my house. and yes i did raise my voice several times because she kept repeating herself and i just wanted her out. i need a heart transplant and can die at any given time and a full year of listening to her be a b.... was too much for my heart to take, litteraly i called the police for the first time in my life and filled out no trespassing she came in my house anyway. she used my seeing my grandchildren and i don't get to see them. my son has brought them up a total of 2 hrs. in the last two months but she doesnt know. i have babysat unpaid for 11 yrs for my granddaughter and off and on for my grandsonfor 4 yrs. i do it because i love them. they just left my house almost 2 months ago and i paid attention to them everyday and played with them. our relationship is strong and they miss me. what do i do i'm scared
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Dimitry K., Esq. replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for your question. Please permit me to assist you with your concerns.
I am genuinely sorry to hear that you find yourself in this situation. To be clear, you wish to know what options may exist so that you can see the grandchildren again, is that correct?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
yes
Expert:  Dimitry K., Esq. replied 1 year ago.
Hi,
I understand. Did you attempt to contact them to see if they are willing to grant you more time? Do you believe that the children are being abused or neglected? Are you willing, or did you consider pursuing your own custody of them?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
they are being neglected. no as much right this minute because she is living at her mother and she won't put up with it but in geneeral they haven't seen a doctor or eye doctor for years. because she is mad at me she supposedly has an eye examine for them but they have a heridity promlem and they let abby go so long until she is blind in one eye and patrick has the desease in both eyes and they won't have him wear his glasses. i need a heart transplant so i could die any time but my older two sons have said they would take the kids but don't want to hurt their brother so we've been looking for alternatives.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
my son would always ask me to take them and i did for years. she has walked out over 6 times in abby's eleven years and stays gone. some times she sees them some times she doesn't her ddrinking and men are more important to her except this time i made a stand and won't give in.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
i see my son every day but he has this obsession with her and what she says goes so he doesn't lose her.
Expert:  Dimitry K., Esq. replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for your follow-up. Please permit me to assist you with your concerns.
To answer your question directly, both Federal and West Virginia state laws favor parents making decisions in keeping access away from grandparents if they so choose. In 2000, the US Supreme Court, in a decision called Troxel v. Granville, stated that parental rights are superior to grandparent rights and that parents have the right and the ability to withhold access.
That does not mean that you have no rights. You can still petition the courts for guardianship or for visitation, but getting such rights is fairly difficult. The courts will only grant you visitation if you can show that a legitimate bond exists with the grandson, and that it would be in the best interest of the child to be with you. Additionally, if you ever had guardianship, or the grandson lived with you for a significant time (5 months is borderline) you likely have enough to claim that a bond existed. This is not to say you shouldn't pursue this, I am merely pointing out the law and the options available. You can seek rights, but as parents their rights are typically superior to yours. Still, since the children lived with you I suspect you can fairly easily show that a bond exists which would permit you to seek out a basis for at least visitation.
Hope that helps clarify.
Sincerely,
Dimitry, Esq.

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