Thank you for the opportunity to assist you.
Q) Do I have to continue to be the fall back support guy whenever her relationships fail? What is the argument to terminate spousal support forever
Generally, spousal support is determined by two big-picture concepts: 1) the need of the receiving spouse for support, and 2) the paying spouse's ability to pay. There are lots of factors that go into making this decision, such as length of the marriage, standard of living during the marriage, whether one spouse is a stay at home parent, tax issues, etc.
There is a trend nationally over the past several years to end the concept of lifetime spousal support. The days are numbered (and are quickly fading) where an ex (usually the wife) gets support for the rest of her life while the other spouse (usually the husband) works 3 jobs to make ends meet so she can drive a Mercedes and eat Caviar for breakfast. (A bit of an exaggeration, but you get my meaning.)
There are also court decisions in California where the courts are moving toward the position that spousal support is meant to be TEMPORARY in nature only. They are also starting to take the position that spousal support should last as short a time as possible, i.e. only until the receiving spouse gets on their feet and is able to be self-supportive.
In your case, I would absolutely go back to court right away and ask the judge to declare that 1) there is no need for spousal support now, and 2) there is no need for the court to retain jurisdiction over this issue any longer. California Courts online
has numerous forms to help you get started. Here's one
, for example.
You could retain an attorney
to help you with this too. Although that's money you may not be able to spend right now, if it helps increase your long term chance of NEVER paying spousal support again, it may be worth it.
I hope my response has been helpful. If you have follow-up questions or concerns on this topic, please ask. Otherwise, please rate my answer positively so that I can receive credit for my work. Doing so will NOT cost you any additional fee.