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1. Can she do this? (he is criminal-defense attorney and says she can)
No he can't and if you file for contempt she stands to lose her law license and will probably back down immediately.
What will likely happens is a law suit for modification co custody initiated by her.
2) 3. He has started reducing child support based on the following: 78B-12-216. Reduction for extended parent-time..The rules require you AGREE or a court order established the revised visitation. None of these occur and you should send WRITTEN notice that you do not agree to the changed visitation.
BotXXXXX XXXXXne get a local attorney have him/her file the appropriate motions to enforce your rights. Your ex is in violation of an existing court order which the Bar does not take kindly to, and your ex should know better.
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