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Samuel II
Samuel II, Attorney at Law
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 27009
Experience:  General practice of law with emphasis in family law.
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I need a lawyer for New York State. My former daughter-in-law

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I need a lawyer for New York State. My former daughter-in-law shares custody of my 3 grandchildren with my son. She is supposed to care for them during the week and he has them on the weekends. However, she is completely neglectful. There is no food in the house even though my son gives her child support weekly. She never buys clothes for the kids. We do. The 2 boys have adhd and must take medication which she neglects to make sure they take. The oldest son failed all classes last year and is on his way to do the same again. She works part time at nights and allows the oldest one who is 15 to stay out to all hours and does not keep up with any of their school work. We are afraid that he will never graduate from high school as she never did. We have tried to help but she resents our help and will not allow us to contact the school any longer to assist him. What can we do to stop this? My son says he doesn't want to be the bad guy in all this but the kids are suffering. The house is filthy and they have to their own wash to get clean clothes. Also she has 2 younger sons by another man.

My name is XXXXX XXXXX I look forward to discussing this and providing you information in this regard.

Please tell me

1 - does your son want full custody of the children with caring for them all week and she has them on weekends?

2 - what is it you are looking to accomplish?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

1. My son would like to have them all the time with her just having visitation as she works weekends.


2. I am looking to either force the mother to more responsible which she has not been in years or to have the children taken out of her custody.


Thank you

Well, as I am sure you are aware, you can't change the spots on a cat. And so there is no way to force her to be a better Mother aside from calling the Child Protective Services and telling them that she is neglectful to the children.

Of course, CPS will investigate and they could place her on a parenting plan or they could say the kids have to be removed from the home. Then of course the Father would have the first right to them.

The other option you have that would not involved CPS is for your son to file a Modification of child custody and have it changed so he has the children during the week and she only gets visits on weekend and that does not even have to be overnight until she gets her act together.

I suggest that he has a good basis for the modification and that you can call CPS and see what the process would be if a report was made on her. It would be beneficial if CPS was on your son's side in a modification but you never want them to feel you are using them for the cause of a change of custody.

I suggest if he wants the change in custody, he can get the Modification form from the Clerk of the Court where the current order was issued and file it. She will be served, there will be a hearing and he can state to the court the need for the change in "the best interests of the children" He can do this on his own, pro se, without the help of a local attorney if he wants to

I hope that this information is helpful. If you need further information, please just send me a reply asking for clarification. After that, I hope you will enter a positive rating so that I will be credited for assisting you. Thanks again for using this service. Your business is appreciated.

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